


50 MyungYeol Challenge

by citrussunscreen



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrussunscreen/pseuds/citrussunscreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>myungyeol_love challenge on LJ</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cheer Me Up

**Title:** Cheer Me Up  
**Type:** Oneshot  
**Characters:** Infinite, mentions of managers, Sungyeol’s mother, Daeyeol and Moonsoo.  
**Pairing:** Myungsoo/Sungyeol  
**Rating:** PG-15  
**Warnings:** hasn’t been proofread, really slow moving story, self harm, character death, anti-climatic  
**Length:** ~21,100  
**Prompt:** from myungyeol_love challenge: #15 - Sleep  
**A/N:** A lot of assumptions here. Such as soundproof walls, a training room in their dorm so they can practice, 2 bathrooms divided accordingly by rooms…and the list goes on. Don’t know how it ended up this lengthy ==” I had originally wanted to keep it sweet and short.

Sungyeol sits up and wakes up screaming his head off, his eyes stare into nothing but blackness. He takes his eye mask off.

And then the room is suddenly bright when the lights are turned on.

Sungyeol’s eyes dilate as he grips tightly onto his blankets, he could feel a cold sweat running down his back.

“Yah, can’t you be quiet?” Myungsoo complains angrily as he plops himself into his burrow of blankets, “we do want some peace and quiet rest you know?”

“Sorry”, Sungyeol gets up and drags his blankets and pillow out of the room he was sharing with Dongwoo, Myungsoo and their manager. He too was dead tired and really wasn’t in the mood to deal with cranky members. He turns the light off for Myungsoo and closes the door, he then plops himself on the couch, still trying to control his breathing.

“What’s going on? We could hear you from the other room”, Howon asks as he heads to the kitchen and takes a glass of water from Woohyun.

“Sungyeol, you alright? That was a really loud scream”, Woohyun adds as Sunggyu and Sungjong walk out of their respective shared rooms to wonder what all the commotion was all about.

Sungyeol shakes his head, closes his eyes from all the inquisitive stares, folds his legs towards his chest and buries his head into his arms that were hugging his legs, “nothing, it’s nothing. I think I’ll sleep out here tonight.” And he had thought that the walls were supposed to be soundproof.

His members shrug their shoulders, each shooting questioning glances at each other, as though someone there knew the something Sungyeol wasn’t telling them.

Sighing, Sungyeol brings his head up and smiles warily at his members before he makes himself more comfortable on the couch, pulling the blanket to cover his face.

The members blink a little stupidly, smiling back and then they all put their ear phones back on and trudge back to their beds.

Sungyeol can’t sleep. His skin was sticky from sweat, and the distractingly emptiness of the living room is haunting, peeking past his blankets, he notices that their manager finally got out of the bathroom and then went to bed, but not before he shot, Sungyeol assumed, a curious stare at the him who was lying on the couch.

He doesn’t sleep. He watches the way he breathes and listens to his own heartbeat as he waits for the time to wake to come. Sungyeol is troubled with thoughts he doesn’t want to think about, and when they turn around a corner to submerge in something darker than black, something colder than ice yet still warm with the texture of blood, Sungyeol rolls around, clenches his fists and bites his lips. It didn’t make sense. He can’t scream. He’s already over the initial shock, so he lets out a whimper of pain and anguish. His cheeks are damp.

Sungyeol sighs and hopes that his skin would bear through the dampness without breaking into pimples.

An hour before everyone usually gets up, Sungyeol is still awake, he sits up, touches his cheeks and wonders if his eyes are swollen. He’s halfway through fixing his blankets when he leaves them, wondering why he was fixing them if he were going to crawl back in later. He fixes them anyway when he realises that he might just not want to crawl back under the blankets. Sungyeol walks into the bathroom to observe his face. His eyes were swollen. His cheeks were pink. He blinks and looks away from his reflection in the mirror.

The people in his room were still in deep slumber. Sungyeol dumps his blankets and pillow aside and then quietly picks out his clothes before he returns to the bathroom deciding that a quick shower was what he needed. His eyes were still swollen. Getting dressed quickly and drying his hair, Sungyeol sighs as he covers his swollen eyes with cream. He didn’t have an explanation for anyone who was going to ask, so he was going to cover it.

In the kitchen, Sungyeol stares at his handy coffee machine before he decides that it’s time for his coffee, even though the sun was not going to rise anytime soon. Taking small sips out of his mug, Sungyeol wonders what he should do so early in the morning. He looks around the dorm, it’s been long enough that he can’t even remember how long it’s been since they moved into the new dorm, but cardboard boxes still littered the dorm, there were still many things to unpack. He thinks that they can just throw it all away, since it’s been long enough for all the essentials to be unpacked.

Still holding his mug of coffee, Sungyeol wanders around the dorm, wondering if he should pull out his drama script and do a bit more practice. And then he remembers that he had already filmed the last for his drama. And he blinks stupidly before he decides that he was going to go train.

And he’s dancing to music that’s playing over and over in his head, he looks at himself in the mirrors that were pasted on three out of four walls. His expression was good. It was normal, he couldn’t even tell himself that he wasn’t feeling well, in the inside, mentally, psychologically, whichever word it was that describes the state he’s currently in. He felt as though he were some kind of colloid.

Sungyeol has noted for the longest time that his dancing is not top notch. It’s an area he desires to work more in. He feels there’s not enough feeling put into it, not enough energy to pinpoint the crux of certain moves. As Sungyeol dances by himself, watching his reflection, he remembers asking Howon for advice before. Some people just have the groove, the distinctness that makes a dance move immediately distinguishable as something that has been well polished.

Sungyeol wonders if it’s the numbness in his heart that’s reflecting in his moves.

Howon tells him it’s because the rest of the group is too short, it’s like watching a giraffe run with a pack of lions. Sungyeol cocks and eyebrow and tells the other he doesn’t understand.

By the time their manager finds him in the training room, Sungyeol’s half finished coffee is already cold. He flashes a smile at their manager and then wipes his face clean of sweat, careful to not touch his eyes.

“It was strange to not see you sleeping”, the manager told Sungyeol, “now that you’re up early, help me go wake the rest, I’ll go make breakfast.”

Sungyeol chuckles and jokes lightly, “what, were you worried that I ran away again?” Sungyeol doesn’t exactly like the phrase ‘run away’, It dampened his mood and made him remember all the times he thought about, and even tried running away from when he was a trainee to now. But it’s not like he’ll ever run away again.

The manager smiles as he watches Sungyeol dash away to go wake up his members.

As Sungyeol caringly woke up each of his members, he thought about how he still felt a little awkward with all of them. It’s been two years, more than two years, reaching three years yet he found that sometimes, he stood out oddly from the group, it was awkward like he didn’t fit in. Still.  It was something that’ll probably fix itself over even more time.

Sitting at the kitchen table with a fresh cup of coffee, Sungyeol watched as the members groggily got up and cleaned themselves up in the bathrooms. It was, he never realised, how amusing to watch them yawn loudly and then slump against the wall before getting up again and heading to the bathroom.

Sungyeol almost got the shock of his life when leader Sunggyu plopped into a chair before him without Sungyeol noticing and asked jokingly, “have you taken up the role of waking us all up?”

Smiling, Sungyeol shrugged his shoulders, “depends, I got up early today and decided to do you all a favour by bestowing my beautiful presence on you all.”

Sunggyu laughed with relief. He had been just a tad worried about Sungyeol who had screamed and then slept on the couch last night, but from the looks of it, he seemed to still be his cheerful and cheeky self.

Sungyeol had expected Sunggyu to scoff.

The two earlier risers were already half way through their breakfast, slowly eating when the all the members finally sat and ate together with their manager. They didn’t always get to have the luxury of sitting together for breakfast, but when possible, they made it work. And in most cases, they could all eat at least one meal together. Sometimes, it was just inevitable. It was manners to eat together, it was bonding time, it’s an important part of their life, since they were like family after all.

“So, what was last night about, Sungyeol?” Dongwoo asked, “I heard that you were screaming your head off”

“It’s just like Dongwoo-hyung to sleep through it”, Sungjong mumbled before sending a curious stare at Sungyeol.

“Did you see a ghost or something?” Woohyun joked.

“Something like that”, Sungyeol smiled and then chuckled, wanting to brush the matter aside ASAP.

Seeing Sungyeol’s hearty chuckle, the members pushed the thought out of their heads and continued eating.

Sungyeol is relieved and eats with content, ignoring the suffocating feeling that was crawling up his throat. Myungsoo shoots him a worried glance and Sungyeol knows he’s busted. His expression is flawed. Sungyeol reprimands himself in his head, he needed to master his expressions better. Instead of confronting the other, Sungyeol chose to avoid Myungsoo.

Sungyeol took his phone out and started to pretend to text his mother. In the end as he kept his focus on his phone during breakfast, the only words he ended up sending to his mother were ‘I love you’.

By the time everyone finished eating, it was already half past 6.

There probably wasn’t another time where Sungyeol actually found himself thoroughly enjoying training more than heaps. It took his mind off things he didn’t want to think about, he felt as though he were lighter even though his throat was itching for water, even though his body felt too limp from too much dancing. And it gave him the chance to avoid Myungsoo who clearly wanted to talk to him. But Sungyeol didn’t want to talk. He could pretend he was too tired to talk, and his members would let him rest when it was time to rest. And all he had to do was shut his eyes and pretend he was napping to pretend that he couldn’t see Myungsoo heading towards him.

But when Myungsoo sat down beside Sungyeol and gently wiped off Sungyeol’s sweat, Sungyeol’s eyes instinctively opened to look at Myungsoo who smiled and then handed Sungyeol a bottle of Pocari Sweat.

Pocari Sweat wasn’t exactly the type of drink he’d like to have when he’s sort of dying of thirst, where was the water anyway? Sungyeol raised an eyebrow but took the bottle anyway.

“We’re out of water”, Myungsoo said as though he could read Sungyeol’s mind.

Sungyeol stared at Myungsoo as though he were nuts, as if they could run out of water.

“Well, actually, I just couldn’t be bothered grabbing a bottle of water, it’s kind of, far”, Myungsoo wondered if he should tell Sungyeol that the Pocari Sweat was closer, and because he didn’t want Sungyeol to run again, he just grabbed whatever was closer.

Pocari Sweat tasted bland to Sungyeol as he took a sip before passing it back to Myungsoo who also took a couple of sips. Sungyeol closed his eyes again, he flinched and turned his head away from Myungsoo when he felt Myungsoo grab his hand, his fingers going in between his fingers to form a nice lace. Sungyeol did not hold Myungsoo’s hand back, leaving his arm and consequently hand to be limp and unmoving.

Even when Myungsoo leans over to place a peck on Sungyeol’s cheeks, Sungyeol wills himself to not react. He ignores and lets his heart sink as Myungsoo only holds his hand tighter.

They don’t rest for long before practice starts up again. When practice finally finishes for the day, Sungyeol couldn’t even remember what they had for dinner that day. There was maybe an hour and a half till it was time to sleep and Sungyeol waits for Dongwoo to shower first before he goes to shower. It was nice having two showers in the dorm, splitting it accordingly by rooms. He’d had to wait much longer before.

Sungyeol lies on top of his blankets as he waits, his laptop open before him, but he’s tired and doesn’t even feel like surfing the web. He’s tired and wants to rest.

When Myungsoo takes a seat next to Sungyeol, the older closes his eyes and ignores the other’s presence.

Even though Sungyeol had his eyes closed and was trying to ignore him, Myungsoo knows that Sungyeol can hear him, so he speaks, “you were overly happy at breakfast today, did something happen?”

Sungyeol lets out a relieved breath, Myungsoo didn’t know. He immediately turns and faces Myungsoo with a huge grin.

Myungsoo looks at Sungyeol’s overly happy expression and can’t help but frown, “yeah, it’s that expression”, the younger places a hand on Sungyeol’s chubby cheek and caresses softly, “do you want to talk to me about it?”

“Huh?” Sungyeol is a bit confused at Myungsoo’s serious tone and question.

“Is this about last night’s scream?” Myungsoo asks, wondering what was going on in Sungyeol’s head to force the other to act so happy-go-lucky when he clearly was not. He feels a little guilty for not asking that night and instead, telling the other to be quiet and go to sleep.

Sungyeol wants to believe that his smile did not drop at all, but when Myungsoo only frowns a little deeper, Sungyeol could not help but know that it was like he had suspected, Myungsoo was wary of him. The problem was, Sungyeol was sure he had perfectly acted normal yet Myungsoo still knew something was wrong with him which could only mean that Sungyeol’s acting was not perfect, there was no other explanation. Sungyeol shook his head and rambled on about something random to Myungsoo, luckily, he didn’t have to go on for too long as Dongwoo walked into the room, telling Sungyeol it was his turn to shower. Sungyeol made sure he remembered to close his laptop before he went off to shower.

“What’s in his laptop anyway?” Dongwoo asked Myungsoo curiously, “does he really have porn?”

Myungsoo shrugged, keeping his lips closed, he wasn’t going to tell anyone that he knew Sungyeol kept his electronic diary in his laptop. It’s not like he’s ever read through ALL Sungyeol’s journal before, but he’s seen Sungyeol type in it and he’s read half of sentences and what not when he tries to discreetly see what Sungyeol’s doing. Myungsoo doesn’t particularly want to read Sungyeol’s journal either, he had the confidence that Sungyeol would tell him his problems when the time came. When Sungyeol was ready to tell someone about it, he was positive that he would be the person to come to.

Sungyeol found that he really didn’t like staring at himself in the mirror. He wondered briefly why it took so long for him to realise this thought. He poked his own cheek, it was too chubby, he ran a finger across his lips, there were too plump and full, so he smiled, stretching his lips so they were thinner, but then his gums showed too much, he looked at his nose and wanted to close his eyes. But his deadpan eyes stared back and Sungyeol wondered when he had turned so ugly. He poked at his tummy, his arms, his chest, nothing seemed like it was before. He smiled again and wondered if he had always smiled like that. The swollen puffiness of his eyes were gone, but Sungyeol couldn’t help but remember how disgusting it had looked earlier that day. He felt numb.

And then he saw it.

Safety pins.

Taking the one of the safety pins beside the sink, Sungyeol looked at it with a blank face before he unpinned it and pressed it against his skin on the underside of his wrist, he didn’t dig the pin deep, it just pressed shallowly pass his skin. He could feel it as he lifted the silver pin from his skin. He could feel it and a small smile found its way to Sungyeol’s lips.

He felt as though his mood had been lifted slightly. And that comforted him.

He pressed the pin in again, pass his skin in a different stop, maybe a centimetre from the first spot so that it was still behind his wrist. This time, Sungyeol pressed in harder, deeper than the first time before he drew the pin out of his flesh again. A spot of red slowly popped up from the spot where Sungyeol poked. And Sungyeol couldn’t help but admire the contrast between his pale skin and the spot of red.

The blotch of blood dries and Sungyeol presses the sharp end of the safety pin into himself again. He feels a little sad that he’s marring his skin like this, but the relief that comes with it was so comfortingly addictive, it was priority.

A curt knock on the door makes Sungyeol’s eyes widen, jump with a little shock, a small squeak escape his mouth as he hurriedly takes the pin from his wrist.

“Sungyeolie!” Myungsoo calls from the other side of the bathroom door, “are you done yet?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Sungyeol says loudly before he jokes, “I’m putting my clothes on now, unless you want to come in and put them on for me?”

Myungsoo answers his joke with agreeableness, “sure, let me in and I’ll help you!” Myungsoo hears Sungyeol’s laugh and mentally notes to himself that Sungyeol was really weird today. More than usual. His laugh was a bit excessive, louder than usually, he could hear the shakiness of the laugh and Myungsoo starts worrying.

Before Myungsoo could say anything else, the bathroom door opens and a cheerful Sungyeol is laughing as he lets Myungsoo into the bathroom.

Sungyeol found Dongwoo and Sungjong lounging on the couch both doing their own stuff and decided to go lie in his blankets and attempt to study more Japanese. There could never be enough study for languages. It took Sungyeol maybe 20minutes before he started feeling sleepy again. He placed the text book aside and covered his head with his blanket again, he couldn’t be bothered getting up to close the light. So when Myungsoo finished showering and went into the shared room, he found the light on and Sungyeol already sleeping.

Pulling the blanket away from Sungyeol’s face, Myungsoo smiled and placed a kiss on the other’s nose before he closed the lights and went to bed as well. It didn’t take long before he heard the manager come in to sleep.

Sungyeol found himself waking up early again. The sun wasn’t up and he didn’t feel tired. Getting out of bed, he blindly changed into casual clothes before he quietly snuck out of the room, he didn’t want to wake up the manager. Sungyeol automatically went to clean himself up before he made himself a  cup of coffee. He wondered if it was going to be routine now, to wake up earlier than the sun and then drink coffee without being able to stare out into the sunrise. And then he noticed that Dongwoo was sleeping on the couch in the living room. Sungyeol raised an eyebrow and decided not to do anything about it.

(Dongwoo asks him later, if he found sleeping on the couch comfortable, because he found it comfy.)

He looked at the wrist he was marring last night and wondered why the random maroon dots of blood looked enticing on his skin.

Once again, Sungyeol found himself in the training room. He had brought along his language text books, Japanese, Mandarin Chinese and English. Sungyeol switched between practicing his vocals and orally practicing languages. And when he got tired of them both, he’d practice dancing, just enough so that he won’t get too sweaty. Negative thoughts kept interrupting him, but he tried his best to empty his mind and only focus on improving, he didn’t need distractors to pull him into a hole of wallowing and oblivion. Before he knew it, he had almost finished his mug of coffee.

“Sungyeolie?” A voice called and interrupted Sungyeol who was busy flipping through his Japanese text book. Sungyeol looked up and turned around. It was Myungsoo. Sungyeol blinked and wondered what Myungsoo was doing, rubbing his eyes tiredly and looking as though he were half dead.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Sungyeol asked, finding the situation a little absurd. There was no way Myungsoo would be up without anyone forcing him to wake up.

“I got worried when I woke up and couldn’t find you”, Myungsoo told Sungyeol as he took a seat next to Sungyeol, immediate resting his head on the other’s shoulders.

“How did you wake up in the first place?” Sungyeol scowled a little, wondering why anyone would even want to rest their head on his shoulder. It was bony and totally uncomfortable.

“Manager-hyung woke us, it’s time to wake up”, Myungsoo blinked a little tiredly, “what are you doing here?”

Sungyeol realised that breakfast should be done soon now that manager-hyung was up and getting everyone to wake up. He felt just a little obligated to go and help manager-hyung wake the members up too. “Me? I’m studying”, Sungyeol answered Myungsoo’s question.

“Hm~” Myungsoo took a look at what Sungyeol was studying and smiled. Always so hardworking. They all were actually. “Did you wake up early again?”

Sungyeol nodded, still holding the Japanese text book, “thought I’d make use of my time. It’s nice here, I can talk as loud as I want and you guys, shouldn’t be able to hear me.”

Myungsoo smiled, “next time, if you do wake up early again, wake me up too? I want to study with you.”

A little surprised at Myungsoo’s willingness to wake up early and sacrifice sleep, Sungyeol nodded dumbly, “sure, you can help me with my vocals”, Sungyeol looked at the Japanese text book he was still holding and smiled jokingly, “having L-sama help me with Japanese will be a blessing!” He then shrugged Myungsoo’s hand off his shoulders and packed up his books, “come on, the guys should be up and eating breakfast by now if you’re up.”

Before Sungyeol could leave the training room though, Myungsoo quickly grabbed Sungyeol’s arms and pulled the other towards him, placing a quick kiss on Sungyeol’s lips.

Sungyeol smiled at Myungsoo and made his way out of the training room.

Myungsoo’s expression dropped from poker face to one of a frown. He realised he had been frowning a lot as of late. Mostly, due to Sungyeol. And from Sungyeol’s dodgy reaction (the wonky and awkward smile) from before, Myungsoo deduced that there was something Sungyeol was hiding from him.

Cheating? Myungsoo quickly banished that thought, it was impossible for Sungyeol to cheat on him, he’d be able to tell if Sungyeol were betraying him in any sense. It only puzzled Myungsoo further when he wondered just what issue could be troubling Sungyeol so much he had to act in front of friends.

The day went by quite fast, trying to perfect moves a little more, trying to all move in synch, ones who had other schedules headed off and then came back and practiced, resting time was limited and when they were, Sungyeol couldn’t help but find Myungsoo attached to him like glue.

“Sungyeol, why aren’t you eating?” Myungsoo asked, picking at Sungyeol’s untouched chicken breast.

Sungyeol shrugged, he didn’t have the appetite to eat, everything just tasted so bland and not interesting anymore.

“I’ll be taking it then”, Myungsoo told Sungyeol as he started eating Sungyeol’s portion as well.

Sungyeol smiled before he messed up Myungsoo’s hair. Sungyeol found that in the midst of other people, his mood was stable and content with being a little bubbly, it was easy for him to act normal, even though Myungsoo was all over him, raising eyebrows and sending him worried glances. But when Sungyeol found himself alone, say, when he was showering, he’d feel the painful suffocating sensation again and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s feeling numb but he’s in pain and can feel it through the numbness and nothing seems to be any colour but black, black, black.

The choding of Infinite finds himself poking himself more with the safety pin, feeling slightly more relieved when the pain he feels is physical. A pain that’s not mental or emotional.

And his blood shines brightly in the sea of black.

And Myungsoo’s impatient knock on the bathroom door managed to stop Sungyeol from pressing any more holes into his wrist again as he was pulled out of his world.

The next day, Sungyeol found himself waking to a nightmare again. He had thought that since he didn’t have one the night before, he wouldn’t have another one anytime soon. Sungyeol heard the shuffling of sheets and wondered if the other people in his room were feeling uncomfortable or even possibly waking up, and then he remembered that unlike Sungjong and Howon, Dongwoo and Myungsoo move a lot in their sleep and were a pain to wake up.

About two hours before the normal wake up time, Sungyeol got out of his blankets, he stopped before leaving the room, wondering if he should wake Myungsoo up, but he knew that Myungsoo was sleeping so peacefully, he just couldn’t bear to wake the younger one up. Sungyeol was going to count the number of hours he had to sleep, but instead, decided not to. It would only add to the negativity that was already slowly swarming around in his head. He was going to survive on coffee. The thought of coffee seemed to temporarily work in bringing his thoughts out of gloom.

Funny enough, Sungyeol found Dongwoo in the living room again. Sungyeol wondered if Dongwoo actually really liked sleeping on that so called “comfy” couch. He made a mental note to harass the other over it later.

Suddenly, Sungyeol made a sharp turn and headed towards the front door instead, he hugged his hoodie closer to himself as he put on the hood. He felt like going for a jog instead. Maybe that would help clear his mind. Maybe.

The night sky was still out, the stars were not to be seen, covered by the cloudy sky, Sungyeol breathed in deeply as he tightened his hood around his head, the air felt fresher than usual. As he jogged around the block, he thought about life. His goal, was his dream. And his dream, Infinite’s dream is a step closer to his own dream. He had purpose in his life, so he couldn’t wrap his mind around as to why he had been feeling in the dumps recently.

Too much stress?

But it wasn’t something he wasn’t already use to already.

Maybe it was because he didn’t have enough confidence in himself, but if that were the case, he wouldn’t have chosen this road, this dream, he wouldn’t have the thought of persisting. As Sungyeol racked his brain for a reason as to why he was feeling so down and generally, unhappy with life, his jogging had slowly slowed down to him just walking. When he did realise, he shook his head as though that would shake all his thoughts out of his head, he plugged in his earphones into his ears and put the volume a little higher than usual.

Music was something that’s capable of taking Sungyeol away from his thoughts. In a sense, it occupied so much of his attention, it numbed him. Soon, Sungyeol was jogging again, this time to the pace of the music he was listening to.

And then somehow, he was thinking about things that will last forever.

Nothing lasts forever.

Nothing goes on for an infinite amount of time.

Sungyeol stopped and realised that the song he was listening to was talking about things that won’t last. Before he could even skip the song, the thought of whether he will forever have the same dream popped up in his head. He sighs and skips the song. The first word he hears is ‘love’, and Sungyeol wonders if the love between Myungsoo and himself will last.

Lee Sungyeol laughs dispiritedly at that thought as he answers his own question, “no, it won’t last”, at least, not with the way Sungyeol was behaving, putting less than little effort into their relationship. He just, wasn’t in the mood. He wanted to be loved, but right now, he found it difficult to love back, so he rather not have the secure feeling of being loved. It wasn’t as though he was loving Myungsoo any less, it was just, the love he received felt too undeserving. It made him feel far too guilty. So guilty that he found it hard to love.

He skips the song.

And he skips the song after that and the song after that one and Sungyeol finds himself skipping over pretty much every single song in his playlist. He realises that most of all, he didn’t like the pain the seared through his heart when he was listening to songs sung by Infinite. It hurt more. Giving up, Sungyeol trudges back as the sun rises. He yawns as he opens the front door, it really was about time for coffee. Just thinking about coffee made Sungyeol remember the smell, he smiled a little as he entered their dorm, it was as though he really could smell the sweet, sweet smell of coffee already.

After a couple of minutes, Sungyeol was holding a mug of coffee again as he went off into the training room. He took out the Japanese text book and began reading aloud. He listened to the pre-recorded audio and repeated after the native Japanese speaker. It was the fun-er part of language learning. Sungyeol wanted his pronunciation to be top notch.

By the time someone came into the training room looking for Sungyeol, Sungyeol had already finished his coffee this time around.

“Sungyeolie!” Myungsoo called out with a whiny voice, which surprised Sungyeol himself.

“Wh-what?” Sungyeol asked, ignoring the arms that had somehow found its way clamped around his body.

“You didn’t wake me up!” Myungsoo pulled a long face which he dug unhappily into Sungyeol’s back.

“Oh, you were sleeping like a log, I didn’t have the heart to wake you up”, Sungyeol explained. It only sounded like an excuse to Sungyeol’s ears.

“So mean!” Myungsoo playfully hit Sungyeol’s arm. In which the older just laughed it off.

Myungsoo then moved his head so that his chin was resting on Sungyeol’s shoulder, “Yeol, next time, you have to wake me up. Just wake me up.”

Sungyeol nodded.

“Now…” Myungsoo turned his head towards Sungyeol a little, “cheer me up will you?”

“Huh? Sorry, what?” Sungyeol turned around to look at Myungsoo only to have their lips slightly brush against each other. Sungyeol quickly pulled back, feeling surprised that Myungsoo was indeed that close to him.

Myungsoo smiles and hugs Sungyeol a little tighter and whispers, “thanks.”

Woohyun suddenly comes into the training room with a raised eyebrow, “are you two lovebirds going to come eat breakfast or what?” He shakes his head in disapproval even though he could not hide his smile, “the whole world isn’t going to wait for you, you know?”

“I know, I know”, Sungyeol smiles and stands up with Myungsoo, “we’re coming now, don’t need to make such a sour face over not having these two handsome faces to look at when you’re eating.”

Woohyun rolls his eyes and leaves.

“I think you’ve been hanging around Woohyun too much”, Myungsoo comments, “his lines are rubbing onto you”

Sungyeol laughs and allows himself to be pulled to breakfast by Myungsoo’s hand. However, now Sungyeol had another question nagging him at the back of his head. The fact that the world won’t stop for him, the fact that the people around him won’t stop for him and wait for him to get over himself. They’ll keep moving forward.

Sungyeol gripped Myungsoo’s hand a little tighter. He could feel the younger one smile. Sungyeol needed to move forward too, he absolutely did not want to be left behind whilst he was struggling with the pessimistic thoughts that were dwelling in his being.

To Sungyeol, he felt as though the day itself were just repeating itself, over and over, the days were the same, mundane, but full of sweat. He wonders if he was improving. And he knows that even though he couldn’t see it, he knows he’s improving, otherwise he wouldn’t put up with the hardship he was straining on his own body.

He pressed the safety pin into his skin again and felt better.

That night, Sungyeol changed his playlist so that he was listening to songs in languages he could not understand, foreign languages seem to be able to clear Sungyeol’s mind without instigating negative thoughts. That night, he slept with his earphones, music playing into his ears , hoping that he won’t be waking up to another nightmare.

The next morning, Sungyeol had trouble opening his eyes, it felt as though his eyes had been glued together. And then it hit him, he was still wearing his eye mask. Pulling it off, he stumbled out of his room, no longer was he surprised to see Dongwoo sleeping in the living room. Sungyeol walked pass him without another thought.

Standing in the bathroom, Sungyeol blinked at his reflection, his hand rubbed his tummy softly, he couldn’t remember if he had dreamed last night. But he was sure he wasn’t feeling too fresh or anything. Sungyeol’s eyes catches on to the bunch of safety pins sitting beside the sink, and as though it were a natural habit, he reaches out and touches the cool metal of the safety pin. It feels fragile between his fingers, too thin to do any harm, yet as Sungyeol sticks it into his wrist, he feels pain.

After he cleaned himself up, Sungyeol headed straight for the coffee machine, it felt like an obligation to get coffee right after. It kind of lifted his spirits. Sungyeol holds the cup of coffee and quietly makes his way back to his room, careful not to wake the manager up, he attempts to wake Myungsoo up. But Myungsoo really is a deep sleeper. Sungyeol starts shaking the other’s shoulders, squeezing the other’s cheeks and softly tugging the other’s hair, Myungsoo finally opens his eyes and smiles when he registers that Sungyeol was the one who was waking him.

Immediately sitting up, Myungsoo doesn’t waste time as he follows Sungyeol out of the bedroom. Myungsoo noticed Dongwoo who had made himself totally comfortable in the living room, but he doesn’t say anything. He quickly cleans himself up and joins Sungyeol in the training room.

“I’m glad you woke me up!” Myungsoo stretches his limbs and sits beside Sungyeol.

“Aren’t you tired?” Sungyeol sends Myungsoo a worried glance, “don’t you want to go back to sleep?”

Myungsoo shook his head “I’ll just nap with you when we get those short breaks in between training”, he then took Sungyeol’s cup of coffee to take a sip, “so what are we doing today?”

“Well, I’ve been studying Japanese for the last couple of days”, Sungyeol eyed his coffee silently, “what do you want to do?”

Myungsoo took another sip from Sungyeol’s coffee, he pretended that he could not see Sungyeol eyeing the coffee with desperate need. It was fun to silently tease the other like that, “should we study vocabulary?” Myungsoo suggests.

“Ok!” Sungyeol smiles, “whoever can remember the least has to wash the other person’s feet later!”

Myungsoo smiles, “bring it on.”

The pair studiously looked at their text books, trying to rote learn the vocabulary. Suddenly the door to the training room opened, both Myungsoo and Sungyeol looked up, surprised.

“Gosh”, the manager sighed with relief, “I was wondering if the two of you went out since Myungsoo was out of bed.”

Sungyeol laughed sheepishly, reminding himself to not let slip that he had gone out for a jog some time ago…yesterday. He didn’t want another lecture.

“Perfect, hyung, help us!” Sungyeol  got up and pulled their manager to sit with them.

“Hm?”

“Can you help test Myungsoo and I please?” Sungyeol asked as he passed the textbook to the manager, “we’ve been studying this list of vocabulary this morning, can you just randomly ask us and we’ll write down the answer!”

The manager smiled at the two’s hard work, he agreed easily. It didn’t take long before the manager handed back the marked on-the-spot-dictation to the two younger Infinite members.

Sungyeol screamed out in joy and started dancing randomly when they compared scores and Sungyeol had scored higher. He pushed the thought that he did study more than Myungsoo, after all, he was going over vocabulary as well for the past couple of days. But, he was not going to tell Myungsoo that.

Their manager smiled widely at Sungyeol’s happiness, he then got up and headed out, “come on guys, let’s go eat and start training for the day.”

Pulling Myungsoo up, Sungyeol gave the other a quick hug, “thanks for volunteering to wash my feet.”

“Whatever, choding”, Myungsoo grumbled with a smile as he pulled both of them out of the training room. The smell of breakfast was already enticing his stomach to start urging for food.

Sungyeol picked at his food discreetly, he really didn’t feel like eating at all.

For the next couple of days, it had turn into routine for Sungyeol to wake up first and then carry coffee into his own room to wake Myungsoo up. By now, Myungsoo felt as though he was trained to wake up with the smell of coffee.

Day after day, Myungsoo felt as though Sungyeol’s mood was getting better and better. What he did not know was that Sungyeol was getting better at acting as the hands on the clock ticked.

Sungyeol starts thinking he’s depressed when music no longer clears his head of thoughts of death.

But depression isn’t a problem Sungyeol thinks he can’t solve. Sungyeol looked at himself again, his eyes lingering on his wrist for a little longer than it should, his fingers flittered gently over his neck, he briefly wondered what it would feel like to cut it open…as soon as Sungyeol realised what he was thinking, he lowered his fingers from his neck and scolded himself for even thinking that. He appreciated his neck and did not want to press anything sharp against it. Probably. Clearly, solving this problem would take a while. Sungyeol smiled and watched his reflection in the mirror smile back. He could see the dodgy cracks again, it was ugly. He dropped the smile and tried again till he could not see the imperfections of his smile.

Yeah, solving depression was going to take a while.

Firstly, he should figure out why he was not so suddenly like this.

They’re on break from practice. Sungyeol sits with his back against the wall, his knees folded up and his hands on either side of him. He breathes in deeply and holds his throat lightly with one of his hands. His fingers run smoothly over his skin. Sungyeol knows that there is a big difference between his voice and the voice of Infinite’s lead singers. He knows that there’s a huge difference between his voice and the voice of Infinite’s rappers. Sungyeol knows that he needs to work harder and harder. But he just feels that the distance between him and the others only become greater and greater.

He isn’t the only one who’s improving, everyone else around him is as well. And Sungyeol knows that he shouldn’t be disappointed in himself, he tries to find no reason to be. There’s around 12 hours of practice a day, sometimes 15 for comebacks, and Sungyeol feels that the rate in which he’s improving is way too slow, as though fate was trying to tell him that he’ll never be able to become as good, never be able to catch up.

He’s lost.

And Sungyeol wants to bury his head in his knees.

Myungsoo watches as Sungyeol dips his head to his knees. He’s worried, he doesn’t know what Sungyeol is thinking. Not hesitant at all, Myungsoo places one of his hands above Sungyeol’s hand which was not clutching at his throat.

He doesn’t know what to think when he can feel Sungyeol’s hand flinch away from him. Myungsoo goes after the hand and clutches it this time, “Sungyeolie, do you want to go grab icecream?”

Sungyeol looks up from his knees and gives Myungsoo a smile.

Myungsoo can’t see anything but weariness.

The choding shakes his head, “I’m good, is our Myungsoo craving for sweets already?” Sungyeol teases, his gums show as he laughs.

Myungsoo wonders why Sungyeol’s laugh was sounding hollow again.

The younger scoots closer to Sungyeol, it didn’t matter if they were sweaty. He holds Sungyeol’s hand tightly, and tries not to be too upset that Sungyeol isn’t holding his hand back. He moves his lips and presses a kiss on Sungyeol’s cheek. He watches as the other look down a little, and Myungsoo knows that Sungyeol wasn’t look away from embarrassment.

What he doesn’t know is that Sungyeol finds it hard to accept Myungsoo’s affections.

“Cheer me up”, Myungsoo whispers into Sungyeol’s ear before he pulls the other’s face closer, his hand holds Sungyeol’s cheek dearly and he kisses lips that belonged to his angel.

“Um”, Sungyeol feels a little awkward, he doesn’t really know what just happened.

“I like your voice”, Myungsoo smiles at Sungyeol, “just, talk to me.”

Sungyeol raises his thin eyebrow before he starts blabbering on and on and on. Myungsoo watches the way Sungyeol’s lips move, the small curves of the lips, the way his gums showed cutely when he smiled brightly, when he laughed, the sound of Sungyeol’s voice echoing in his ears. Myungsoo was in paradise.

And Myungsoo and Sungyeol talk for the rest of their break instead of their original plan to sleep. Myungsoo found his heart feeling lighter at the end. It was only when they stood up that Myungsoo realised that Sungyeol was still not holding onto his hand. And that was all it took to remind Myungsoo that Sungyeol was obviously not feeling himself.

Myungsoo notes to himself that Sungyeol only took a couple of bites from dinner before he excused himself. Rushing, Myungsoo quickly gobbles the rest of his dinner before he dashes to follow Sungyeol, immediately draping his arms all over the other as soon as he could.

“Sungyeolie, want to go grab some snacks with me?” Myungsoo asks

“Eh, don’t really want to”, Sungyeol smiles apologetically.

Unhappy, Myungsoo displays the dissatisfaction on his face. Sungyeol looks  a little guilty.

“Please?” Myungsoo pleads, he wanted Sungyeol to at least eat an orange or something.

Sungyeol sighs, “fine”, he knows that Myungsoo is persistent, stubbornly so.

The choding merely starts off just cutting up an orange for Myungsoo and himself, but somehow, he found himself cutting up oranges for the rest of his members. The thought and the action didn’t disturb him, it didn’t make him feel slighted or angry. In fact, he liked that feeling.

He found himself sitting at the dinner table with all the members, his head on Myungsoo’s shoulder as he slowly ate oranges as the 7 of them talked randomly. It was a nice break. He was distracted and didn’t even notice. As the night went on, an impromptu vocal lesson was in place. Members disappeared one after the other to the two separate bathrooms whilst the other worked on their vocals. It was actually a light-hearted and fun atmosphere, and Sungyeol couldn’t help but find himself laughing at the jokes that sometimes slipped whilst they all tried to harmonize together.

Sungyeol pushes Myungsoo’s hand off of his own hand when it was his turn to shower, he smiles, stands and stretches a little before he grabs his change of clothes and heads straight to the bathroom. He was still feeling fuzzy and ‘normal’ then, but as soon as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, Sungyeol knew that suffocating sensation was coming back. He was alone, again. He could feel the coldness of the tiles of the bathroom seep pass his skin and trickle into his bloodstream. He could hear the sound of the nonexistent water dripping. He started feeling unpleasant as he took his clothes off, not once did he look in the mirror to check his bags, he hopped into the shower with his head hung low and breathed in deeply. The water quickly turned warm but the warmth was not touching his heart.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been in the shower, but by the time he steps out, he’s shivering as he quickly dries himself off with his towel. Sungyeol’s eyes land on one of the many safety pins. He smiles wryly. He could envision the warmth already.

Sungyeol presses the safety pin into his skin, again. It feels prickly, but by the second time the pin sinks into his flesh that day, Sungyeol can feel the coldness of the pin seep through his wrist, he can feel his blood pump heavily, he didn’t feel any warmer. His wrist shook a little the third time he stuck the pin in, seeing his blood pool slowly in miniscule amounts was fascinating, Sungyeol wondered if he’d ever get sick of it. When the safety pin enters for the fourth time, Sungyeol knows that he won’t stop. It was his salvation, the pain relieved him and comforted him. And when the same safety pin pierces through his skin and digs into him for the fifth time that day, the blood starts pooling immediately, Sungyeol winces a little, it was a little more painful this time.

“Sungyeolie?” a voice calls and breaks Sungyeol’s trance.

Sungyeol looks up from his wrist with wide eyes to see Myungsoo popping his head through the gap between the door and its frame. The surprise made him drop the safety pin he was gripping onto so tightly just before.

“Myung-“, Sungyeol never finished what he was going to say as Myungsoo came into the bathroom and immediately held Sungyeol’s wrist.

“What’s this?” Myungsoo asks with worry written all over himself, his face hardened at the sight of the blood.

“It’s an allergy, a rash”, Sungyeol babbled immediately, waving his free hand around as Myungsoo scrutinised the wrist he was just stabbing with a safety pin 10 seconds ago, “nothing to worry about.”

Sungyeol reprimands himself for forgetting to lock the bathroom door. He bites his lips, hoping that Myungsoo bought his lies, hoping that Myungsoo did not notice the pin he had dropped in surprise.

‘Oh’, Yeol thinks to himself, ‘human stupidity is infinite.’ He remembers that quote from somewhere, something Albert Einstein had once said, and he only remembers it now when he gives a lame and pretty screwed up excuse to Myungsoo.

“Oh”, Myungsoo takes an even closer look at the blemish like dots on Sungyeol’s wrist, “do you have cream for this? I mean, have you seen the doctor about it?”

“Hm?” Sungyeol took his wrist back, he was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with Myungsoo staring to seriously at his wrist, “yeah, I’ve got cream, it should get better soon.” Sungyeol is a little astonished that Myungsoo believed his excuse.

Myungsoo gives Sungyeol a tight hug before he starts taking his clothes off, ready to shower. As he watches Sungyeol leave with embarrassment, Myungsoo wonders why he didn’t notice earlier, that the ones who seem to be overly cheerful and hyper are usually the ones who are desperately trying to cover themselves up, to hide from the world and to not let anyone know that they’re suffering. He had noticed that there was something off about Sungyeol recently, Myungsoo pulled at his own hair for not even considering that Sungyeol was harming himself. How could Sungyeol fool even him. Why was he not perceptive enough? How could he even think that Sungyeol was feeling better?

He wanted to cry. Sungyeol wasn’t feeling secure enough, didn’t trust Myungsoo enough to let him know that he was in pain. Myungsoo really wanted to cry.

As Myungsoo didn’t probe Sungyeol about the dots on his wrist, or the safety pin (he wonders if Myungsoo even saw that at all), Sungyeol felt relieved, believing that Myungsoo didn’t know what Sungyeol was doing to himself.

Walking out in only sweatpants, Myungsoo runs after Sungyeol and pulls the other towards the bathroom without saying anything. There was no way he was going to let Sungyeol disappear from his sight when he was in such a state.

“Myungsoo, Myungsoo!” Sungyeol is calling for Myungsoo’s attention and the other only replies when they’re inside the bathroom again, door locked.

“Hm?” Myungsoo smiles, their hands still entwined together.

“Why did you drag me in here again?” Sungyeol waved his free arm around to emphasise that he had no purpose in the bathroom in that moment.

“Shower with me?” Myungsoo asks with a smile still on his face as his hands start to undress Sungyeol.

Shocked, Sungyeol takes a couple of steps back from the younger member, and wraps his hands around himself, “what? Myungsoo, no, I’m not ready!”

Myungsoo rolls his eyes at Sungyeol’s reaction, the older was obviously thinking of something dirty. He walks closer to the other and engulfs the other with his arms, “no, not that, just, normal shower, nothing dirty”, Myungsoo reassured before he whispered, “probably.”

Sungyeol raised an eyebrow as he pushed himself out of Myungsoo’s hug, “I already took a shower…”

“Take another one, with me”, Myungsoo said, a bit too cheerily, he watched as Sungyeol looked away, contemplating, “cheer me up, ok?”

“Fi-fine, though you look perfectly happy to me”, Sungyeol gave up, “I’ll take it off myself, so go and warm up the water for me”, Sungyeol flicked his wrists a couple of times, indicating for Myungsoo to go into the shower first.

Myungsoo stares at Sungyeol and makes sure the other is staring back and nodding before he takes the rest of his clothes off and hops into the shower.

Sungyeol sighs and takes his clothes off. Myungsoo was demanding, and a bit weird sometimes. He notices the safety pin he had dropped not even five minutes ago and hastily picks it up and places it in the bin. It was hazardous. Sungyeol never pushed the safety pin pass his skin for the sixth time that day.

Myungsoo quickly pulled Sungyeol into his embrace when the other stepped into the shower. Sungyeol couldn’t help but feel that he was Myungsoo’s mother or something, things like washing the other’s hair, scrubbing the other’s back and hard to reach areas, it wasn’t something Sungyeol had not thought he would never wind up doing.

In the end, Sungyeol couldn’t help but notice that Myungsoo was sticking even closer to him than before, almost as though Myungsoo would die if they weren’t stuck together like glue.

When Myungsoo left their dorms to go over individual activity – for filming, he was hesitant in not forcefully taking Sungyeol with him. He wanted to be stuck to the other’s hip, like a terribly stubborn parasite.

But Sungyeol just waves at him normally (and Myungsoo wonders what really is normal for Sungyeol) with a goofy grin and a lazy arm (Myungsoo wonders if that can really be called normal of Lee Sungyeol.)

Sungyeol spends the rest of the day practicing, answering the influx of texts from Myungsoo (who’s suddenly quite chatty) every couple of hours or so. Sungyeol finds himself staring at himself in the mirror. He looks away after a while and his eyes rest on where the safety pins use to be. He’s confused when he no longer sees the pack of safety pins. He eyebrows knit together and he searches for them. He finds them hidden in the cupboard under the sink. A relieved breath escapes his lips and he notices that he had been sweating. His heart relaxes and slows down when he presses the pin into his wrist. To Sungyeol, it felt as though it had been years since he had felt so tranquil.

After showering, Sungyeol runs his fingers lightly over the blemishes on his wrist, he tugs at his sleeve when he spots their leader peering into the fridge.

“Hyung, are you snacking?” Sungyeol asks, “at this time of the night?”

Sunggyu lifts his head, looks at the other and then beckons Sungyeol to come closer.

Sungyeol peers into the fridge, trying to figure out what Sunggyu was looking at.

“I feel like eating strawberries”, Sunggyu states, his hand already reaching for the pack of strawberries in the fridge. But Sungyeol stops him.

“Hyung, you know we’re not allowed to eat at this time.”

Sunggyu sighs and places the box of strawberries back in the fridge, “I was just testing you.”

Sungyeol decides to keep his mouth shut. He closes the fridge and leads Sunggyu to sit at the dinner table, “hyung, let’s do something else.” He knows that their leader is mature. He really is. But Sunggyu could be a kid at times, and Sungyeol wonders if the man before him really is older than him.

“Hm?” Sunggyu eyes Sungyeol with curiosity.

“Who’s at home right now?” Sungyeol lifts his fingers and starts listing the members of Infinite, “Myungsoo is filming, Sungjongie is filming, Woohyun-hyung is filming, Howon is napping, Dongwoo-hyung is…where is Dongwoo-hyung?”

“I think he’s with Woohyun? Moral support?” Sunggyu surmises.

Sungyeol nods, “I didn’t know, anyway, so Howon is at home, why don’t we-“

“What are you guys up to?” Sungjong suddenly asks as he walked through the front door.

“Oh, welcome home”, Sunggyu smiles, walks up to the maknae and lightly ruffles the other’s hair, “go take a shower ok?”

Sungjong looks at them both suspiciously, “you better not do anything weird when I’m not looking.”

Sungyeol smiles sheepishly and pulls Sunggyu back to the dinner table to talk, “as, I was saying, since Howon is sleeping, we should take this chance to pull a prank on him.”

“Oi!” Sungjong pops his head out from the bathroom door and looks at the two, “don’t do anything to my favourite hyung when I’m not there to join in!”

“Ok, ok”, Sunggyu shoos Sungjong back into the bathroom, “we’ll wait for you so please go scrub all today’s weariness away.”

“So, hyung, I was thinking, it’s been a while since we’ve painted Howon’s nails, that can kill some time before we feel sleepy, right?”

Sunggyu stared at Sungyeol blankly, “why does hearing it from you make it sound like we’re a bunch of girls painting their nails at some dandy sleepover?”

Sungyeol chuckled, “come, one, this time I want to practice my intrinsic art!”

“You’re just going to end up painting his fingers aren’t you?” Sunggyu sighed as rest his chin on his palm, “why do you have coloured nail polish anyway?”

Sungyeol looked at Sunggyu with puzzlement, “you mean our fans don’t give YOU nail polish as gifts?”

“Why would they?” Sunggyu stared at Sungyeol weirdly.

Sungyeol shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, I get them a lot. Maybe they figured that it was Myungsoo’s kink or something.”

Sunggyu laughed loudly and then he stopped, “wait, it’s not right?”

“I don’t know”, Sungyeol mimicked Sunggyu and rested his chin on his palm, “I’ve never asked, I assumed you all received nail polish.”

They sat a while in silence, waiting for Sungjong to finish before Sungyeol nodded and then said, “I think our fans know that painting member’s nails and their hands is my hobby.”

Sunggyu let out an acknowledging sound.

“I should keep up with the fans expectations”, Sungyeol smiled overly sweetly at his leader.

“Sungyeol, you know hyung won’t hesitate to put you in a headlock right now, yeah?” Sunggyu smiled back.

Sungyeol’s smile faltered, “I mean, I’m sure our fans expect our great leader to be the one joining in and leading the polish onto the nails.”

“What? Who’s nails are we painting?” Howon asks tiredly as he rubs his eyes and walks into the kitchen.

Sunggyu and Sungyeol both immediately reply with “maknae” as they were both caught off guard.

“Ah, really?” Howon fills up a glass of water and gulps it down before he takes a seat with the two, “it’ll be hard to find a chance though.”

“Well, you sleep in the same room as him, shouldn’t be too bad”, Sunggyu quickly states.

Sungjong walks out of the bathroom and stares at the trio with a raised eyebrow before he plops himself onto the couch and decides to watch TV.

“I’m going to go join Sungjongie”, Sungyeol quickly states and follows the maknae and sits beside the other.

Sungjong gives his hyung a weird look before he shrugs it off.

Sungyeol sighs and then makes himself comfortable, he puts his head on the younger’s shoulder and watches whatever they were watching on TV. Sungjong was comfortable to be around. The younger was snarky and reminded him of home – of the little brother he sends stupid text messages with. He knows Sungjong understands him in many aspects, the two of them being the late comers to the group. He knows that Sungjong cares for him as much as he does and he likes that feeling. The other was someone he could lean and depend on. Sungyeol closes his eyes and wonders if Daeyeol will feel unloved if he told the other that he treated Sungjong nearly just as well as he treated his blood related brother.

Woohyun and Dongwoo come home and doesn’t spare more than a glance at the others before they go take a shower.

By the time Myungsoo walked through the front door, Sungyeol had dozed off on Sungjong’s shoulder. Myungsoo stops in his tracks and looks at the Sungyeol sleeping on Sungjong’s shoulder.

“Is he tired?” Myungsoo mouths

Sungjong nods back with a small smile.

Myungsoo kneels before Sungyeol and gently pulls the other off Sungjong.

Sungyeol stirs, he blinks his eyes a couple of times before his arms automatically reach to pulls Sungjong closer.

“Hyung~” Sungjong whines and pushes Sungyeol a little, “stop, before Myungsoo-hyung decides that he needs to chop my head off.”

Myungsoo raises an eyebrow at that comment. He wasn’t that type of person, really.

“But you’re so warm”, Sungyeol sighs and his eyes stop fluttering as it lays closed.

“Put him to bed for me, will you?” Myungsoo asks Sungjong for the favour before he goes to shower.

Sungjong nods and then sighs as he half drags and half carries Sungyeol back into his room.

“Sungyeolie-hyung”, Sungjong calls, but Sungyeol had fallen asleep and was nor responding. Sungjong tucks the other in before he heads back to his TV. He wanted to watch a bit more before he slept.

Myungsoo finds himself lifting Sungyeol’s left hand out of the warm blanket after his shower. He needed to be cautious and check. He needed to check if Sungyeol had taken the chance Myungsoo wasn’t around to harm himself. Myungsoo looks at the dots on Sungyeol’s wrists and counts a couple more than last night.

His lips are pursed and feels like crying again. He holds onto Sungyeol’s hand tightly.

Sungyeol’s eyes open again and they find their way to Myungsoo’s tear filled face, “oh, Myungsoo-ah, what’s wrong?” Sungyeol sits up and is immediately worried over Myungsoo’s tears, “what happened?”

“No reason, I just want to sleep with you tonight”, Myungsoo says, sniffing, his grip on Sungyeol’s hand still tight.

“Eh?” Sungyeol looks perplexed for a second before he scoots over and pulls the younger over, “ok, just promise me you’ll stop crying.”

Myungsoo grunts softly as he slips under the covers, his arms quickly wrap themselves around Sungyeol, he breathes in deeply when he feels Sungyeol’s hand smooth down his back.

It felt wrong.

He wasn’t the one who needed comforting. Sungyeol was. Yet why was Myungsoo always on the brink of powerlessness?

“I’ll be here to listen to you”, Sungyeol mutters to Myungsoo, “I’ll be here to respond and tell you stupid lines.”

Myungsoo grips onto Sungyeol tighter.

“So don’t cry, ok?” Sungyeol pokes Myungsoo’s cheeks, “crying is so unmanly you know?”

“No it isn’t”, Myungsoo chuckles when he remembers catching Sungyeol cry over a message his mother sent him for his birthday and the other had told him his tears were as manly as any man.

The next morning, Sungyeol wakes up but couldn’t get out of bed without peeling Myungsoo off of him. Which of course, is what he did. He came back with a cup of coffee to find Myungsoo stirring within ten seconds.

Myungsoo carries the blankets and pillows out of their bedroom and out onto the couch in the living room, which surprisingly, was not occupied by Dongwoo.

“Just want to sit together and cuddle today”, Myungsoo yawns as he flops himself onto the couch and Sungyeol follows suit.

The other members woke up to find Myungsoo and Sungyeol sleeping on the couch with a thin blanket and a cup of half finished coffee.

Sungyeol found himself staring at his sweaty self through the reflection in the mirror walls of the training room. He averted his gaze a little to see Myungsoo sitting by the door, no doubt, waiting for him.

He’s not working hard enough. Sungyeol withheld a sigh as he turned around and shot Myungsoo a smile. The younger smiled back as he stood up and dragged Sungyeol out of the training room, a short break would be effective.

As Sungyeol took big gulps of water, he realised that he was stressed. It just hit him, just like that, he was stressed, he was actually really, really stressed.

He sighed.

And Myungsoo reached and squeezed Sungyeol’s hand tightly.

“Come on, break is nearly over”, Myungsoo says softly and tugs Sungyeol gently.

Sungyeol nods but does not squeeze Myungsoo’s hand back in reassurance. He had time, but also didn’t have time either. He needed to improve at a faster rate, he was no good like this, he wants to catch up to everyone else, wants to proudly say that he’s just as good, wants to be the actor he’s always aspired. And Sungyeol takes in a deep breath when he realises that so long as he could be the ideal actor, the actor he wants to be, he can act to be just as good, act to have the pride to say that he is on the same level. All he needed is that one accomplishment.

The tallest member of Infinite shifts his weight onto one leg as he stands at the back of the training room, it was as though the pressure he placed on himself just tripled in weight. As he laid in bed that night, with Myungsoo holding onto one of his hands, Sungyeol thinks about the way his limbs moved, thinks about the way his voice wouldn’t come out the way he wanted to and knows that he is long off from being the perfect actor.

He sleeps with a head full of thoughts. He dreams of nothing but thorns. He wakes shuddering and sweating with his breath caught on his dried up lips.

A month later, Sungyeol is still waking early and bringing a cup of coffee to wake Myungsoo. They sometimes sit and do nothing, they sometimes study together, train together or just simply link arms, hold hands and chat. They eventually got into the habit of showering together just before breakfast so they can feel refreshed for the new day.

It was a bit after lunch during their break when Sungyeol’s phone vibrated.

“I got a text from my brother”

“Daeyeol?” Myungsoo asked, his eyes curious.

Sungyeol nodded, “he says ‘Hyung, I love you’, random isn’t it?”

“When was the last time you messaged him?” Myungsoo asks

Sungyeol purses his lips as he tries to remember, he shakes his head and then scrolls through his conversation history with his younger brother. His eyebrows fall forlornly and he looks upset as he turns his eyes to look at Myungsoo.

Myungsoo stares back, waiting for an answer, “don’t tell me, the last time you messaged him was a couple of months ago!”

Shaking his head, Sungyeol lifted his knees up and buried his head in them, “no, not THAT long ago, just, it’s been nearly a month…”

Myungsoo puts an arm around Sungyeol’s shoulders, “that’s why he texted you such a text.”

“What should I text back?” Sungyeol wonders as he suddenly whipped his head down, hurriedly fumbling with his phone, worrying over how to text his brother back, apology first? Declaration of mutual bromance? Sungyeol wanted to scream.

“Here”, Myungsoo took Sungyeol’s phone and typed in a message for him, before he passed the phone back to Sungyeol, “it’s fine like that right?” And before Sungyeol could even finish reading the message, Myungsoo had already pressed send.

“Wha-wait, hold on, Myungsoo, you did not just type that strange message and send it to Daeyeolie!”

Myungsoo pretended to look confuse, “what do you mean? How is ‘I love Myungsoo the most~♥’ strange?”

Sungyeol shook off Myungsoo’s arm and stood up dramatically, still holding onto his phone, he was overreacting, but he had to, “Daeyeolie is going to be so dramatic and complain about sibling negligence and then, oh gosh, what if he tells my mother!? She’ll definitely find the chance to lecture me about how to love my younger brother more, I don’t even want to imagine-“

“Sungyeolie”, Myungsoo interrupted, “your phone just vibrated with a new message.”

Immediately sitting down again, Myungsoo placing his arm around Sungyeol’s shoulders again, the two read the message from Daeyeol together.

“What!?” Sungyeol screamed as Myungsoo laughed.

“Myungsoo!” Sungyeol pouted and tried to glare at the other, “what does Daeyeol mean by you liking him more because his face is more handsome!?”

Myungsoo tried to calm his laughter down, he could feel tears prickling his eyes, and Sungyeol was looking at him like such a betrayed little puppy, he just wanted to hug him close.

“Are you telling me that all this time you’ve only liked me, liked me for my, my face!?”

Myungsoo only laughed harder.

Sungyeol stood up, angry and stomped with a foot, “and that you actually love Daeyeolie more!” He fumed, “I! I-urgh!” Sungyeol turns away from the laughing Myungsoo and bumps into Woohyun who was just walking out of his room.

“Hyuuuuung~” Sungyeol whines before immediately latching himself onto Woohyun’s arm.

Woohyun gives Sungyeol a blank stare before he looks over with confusion at Myungsoo who was finally calming down.

“Hyung!~” Sungyeol calls again, cutely.

Woohyun turns his attention back to Sungyeol, “what is it, choding?”

“I’m in a love triangle! The guy I like doesn’t like me back!” Sungyeol cried unhappily, “save me!”

“Huh?” Woohyun asked, totally lost and not understanding what was happening, did something happen between Myungsoo and Sungyeol?

“Daeyeol-“ Sungyeol began before he started pouting again.

“Oh, Daeyeol…”, Woohyun nodded, and then his face brightened as though he suddenly remembered something, “I heard that he’s quite popular at school. Lots of girls hitting on him and all.”

“What?” Sungyeol’s charade suddenly dropped as he let go of Woohyun’s arm. He pressed a number on his phone and called.

“Yah! Daeyeolie!” Sungyeol change of tone from a whiny brat to a serious and unhappy hyung shocked both Woohyun and Myungsoo as they watched on.

“Daeyeolie-ah, if anyone, girl, guy, anyone, if anyone lingers on your for a second too long, tell me, I’ll go hunt them down and make sure they never even come close to you again, oi, are you listenin-“ Sungyeol took his phone away from his ear and looked at it, “aish, that brat, cutting me off like that!”

“You’re…you’re rather protective…” Woohyun blinked blankly at Sungyeol.

“He has a brother complex”, Myungsoo smiled as he pressed his chest against Sungyeol’s back and draped his arms lovingly over the other’s shoulders.

“Hah…” Woohyun smiled awkwardly as light bulbs started going off in his head, “wait”, he looks at Myungsoo and Sungyeol again, “what happened to the love triangle?”

Myungsoo raised his eyebrows in amusement, “there never was one, Daeyeol and I were just teasing Sungyeol…because he always overreacts.”

“Oh, right, yeah, can’t be Daeyeol anyway, since he’s already heads over toes for his lover”, Woohyun nodded, he now totally understood the situation.

“What!?” Sungyeol was instantly bought back into the conversation as he took his eyes away from his phone, “he’s dating!? What!? Since when!? How come I don’t know? With who?”

Woohyun laughed nervously and ignored the glare that Myungsoo was sending him. He walked off with a wave and a smirk, “oh, and Sungyeol, you do know that now that you’re an idol, strutting around threatening anyone who even dares look at your brother is something impossible now right?” Woohyun laughed, trusting Myungsoo to hold Sungyeol in place.

“Myungsoo, you know right!?” Sungyeol twisted his body around so that they were now facing each other, “tell me~”

Myungsoo smiles innocently, continuing to hold onto Sungyeol tightly, “let’s just say, hm~ Daeyeol hit off quite well with Moonsoo.”

Sungyeol felt like crying. His baby brother was growing up way too fast, and he wasn’t even there to watch him and give him a shoulder to lean on. Wait. Moonsoo? Moonsoo!? As in Myungsoo’s cute little brother Moonsoo? (Sungyeol mentally corrected himself, though he would not want to admit out loud, but his younger brother Daeyeol is forever the cutest and that the word ‘cute’ should really only be used for him…)

“Stop talking about them”, Myungsoo muttered, a frown on his face.

“No!” Sungyeol screeched rather loudly.

Myungsoo rolled his eyes before he pressed his lips against Sungyeol’s, one of his hands rested on Sungyeol’s neck, lightly pushing so that their lips could press harder against each other.

“Hey, what’s with all the noise?” Hoya comes out from the training room and takes a look, sweat dripping from his cheeks, but he turns around immediately after noticing that Myungsoo was in the process of devouring Sungyeol’s face, “no, never mind.”

The kiss broke off and Myungsoo went back to hugging Sungyeol tightly. Myungsoo’s heart fluttered with excitement as Sungyeol clutched tightly onto him, the elder one’s hands grasping desperately onto Myungsoo’s back. He was happy, even if it was just a little bit, Sungyeol was responding to his advancement again even if ever so slowly.

“Hyung”, Sungjong calls and rolls his eyes at how they were just hugging and not doing anything else, “hyung, Sungyeolie-hyung~” Sungjong calls again, he wanted to just give up when Sungyeol still did not respond, holding tightly onto Myungsoo.

Sungjong sighs, “hyung, just wanted to let you know that your phone is ringing. It’s probably Daeyeol.”

At the word ‘Daeyeol’, Sungyeol immediately looked up, let go of Myungsoo and dove for his phone which indeed was ringing. He sent Sungjong a smile of ‘thanks’.

Smiling back, Sungjong ignored the unhappy stare Myungsoo was giving him, he made his way towards the training room, “break is nearly over, so just, quickly come to the training room after, ok?”

Myungsoo did not need that reminder, he thought to himself.

“Dae!”, Sungyeol picked up the phone with haste, “tell me they’re all lies! You’re not dating Myungsoo’s little brother! Last I heard you were still in love with that girl from cram school!”

“You scared her off”, Myungsoo muttered, moving to place his arms around Sungyeol’s waist, making sure that the other wouldn’t just disregard his presence now that Daeyeol was on the line.

“What do you mean that was too many years ago?” Sungyeol started fretting, he was feeling even more stressed already.

Myungsoo laughed, he knew it.

“What!?” Sungyeol more than screamed into his phone and then his voice went back to soft and worried, “yeah, sorry, I love you too by the way, bye.”

“Hm?” Myungsoo moved to stand beside Sungyeol, taking Sungyeol’s phone away from his hand and putting it aside, he replaced the phone with his hand instead.

“I didn’t know, I really didn’t know”, Sungyeol looked wide eyed at Myungsoo, “I bet you knew!”

“Know what?”

“That Daeyeol!” Sungyeol struggled to get the rest of the words out

Myungsoo smiled, “that Daeyeol?”

“That Moonsoo…”, Sungyeol took in a deep breath, “that Moonsoo and Daeyeol were seeing each other like 50billion years before we even started!”

Myungsoo shrugged, it wasn’t actually 50billion years ago, but it felt around that much, “come on, choding, let’s go training. Don’t want leader to be scolding us for being too late.”

Sungyeol gets a text just a bit before he sleeps from Daeyeol. It reads:

_Hyung, you do know I was just joking right? I’m not dating right now. Moonsoo and I are just friends. I just wanted to scare you and make you worry over me a bit. ^^v_

And Sungyeol smiles as he suddenly feels an overwhelming surge of longing to push his brother around the house, ordering him like a slave and then enveloping him at the end of the day and tell him that he loves him so very much.

He was just about to put his phone away when a thought suddenly hits him – just why was both Woohyun and Myungsoo telling him that his younger brother was dating then? But he believes his brother’s words over theirs, doesn’t he?

Sungyeol wakes up with a terrible mood the next day. His coffee is in hand and Myungsoo’s head rests on his lap and the other’s eyes bore up at him, it only made Sungyeol want to frown more.

“Myungsoo”, Sungyeol pokes Myungsoo’s shoulder, “if you’re sleepy, go back to sleep, I want to practice today.”

“mm~” Myungsoo nodded and then wrapped his arms around the other’s waist.

“Unlike you”, Sungyeol peels Myungsoo’s arms off of him and then as gently as he could, pushes Myungsoo off his lap so that he can stand up, “I don’t have all the time in the world to get better.”

“I think you’re wonderful right now”, Myungsoo looks up and tells the other with sincerity.

“I know”, Sungyeol tries to smile back, “but what you think does not amount to what I think and what everyone else thinks.”

Myungsoo doesn’t like that answer, but he knows it’s honest, and it’s true. He knows Sungyeol values all opinions, even if says he doesn’t. He knows the other treats him special, but his opinions weigh just as much as everyone else. Probably. Right?

Sungyeol suddenly squats down and gives Myungsoo a wide smile, “but Myungsoo, you’re extra special to me, so your opinion doesn’t, shouldn’t matter, since it’s obviously too biased, too skewed, it wouldn’t be right if I took it into consideration!”

And Myungsoo’s eyebrow twitches just before he grabs Sungyeol and hugs him tight before trying to place the other in a headlock. Sungyeol’s laughter distracts him and they end up rolling around the floor.

Later that day, Sungyeol leaves for filming and Myungsoo hesitantly lets him go. Sungyeol wants to be perfect. But that’s an aspect he’s not at yet, he has to keep on trying to hone on it, polishing and polishing till where there is nothing left to polish. He’s cheerful and serious at the same time when he’s talking to his fellow actors and actresses. He asks for advice, he asks how he can further carry out a certain emotion, he talks to the director and asks for suggestions. And Sungyeol notes them all and tries his best to incorporate them all. Sometimes, your best just isn’t enough. And Sungyeol feels frustrated. He’s deep in thought when he returns to the dorms.

Sungjong greets him with a tight hug. And Sungyeol knows that the other must’ve been just a tad neglected by his other hyungs. After all, everyone’s busy as of late.

“You really are the maknae here”, Sungyeol pats Sungjong’s head, “bet you’re totally different outside of INFINITE.”

“Goes without saying”, Sungjong quips, “I’m just like you, Sungyeol-hyung.”

Sungyeol blinks away his worry over the underlying meaning behind Sungjong’s words.

“Hyung, want to go train a bit?” Sungjong asks and knows that there is only one answer for that questions.

“Sure”, Sungyeol replies with half a smile, “but didn’t you just come back from your variety filming?”

Sungjong nods, “got back just a bit before you.”

Sungyeol worries whether Sungjong will be able to deal with all the stress. But he stops his thoughts when he realises that he’s dealing with them right now. He shouldn’t underestimate his members. They should all utilise their time well.

Sungjong and Sungyeol stare at the mirror and practice, but something just feels off. And just as they were going to leave to find someone to point out what look so awkward, Howon opens the door and smiles.

“I knew you’d be in here”, Howon walks into the training room and closes the door behind him, “I heard from Sunggyu-hyung that the two of you had come back but didn’t greet him.”

“Oh”, Sungjong shrugs his shoulders, “come help us, hyung.” He was sure Sunggyu wouldn’t grumble over it for too long if he knew that they were busy perfecting their moves.

Howon smiled and spent a great deal of time pointing out which moves could be improved on, spilling out techniques about certain heights they should be at for certain parts of the dance.

Sungyeol wondered for a brief second if he should leave so that Sungjong could spend some more time with his favourite hyung. He felt so out of places sometimes. But he wanted to improve. He was going to be selfish.

They finish up not long after and Sungyeol smiles gratefully at Howon.

Sungyeol checks the time and knows that he really should wash up and rest soon. But he wants to practice just a little bit more, go through the bits where he wasn’t so confident in, make good use of the tips Howon had given him.

He’s beyond tired when he’s sitting on the training floor, he makes his way out and crawls to the bathroom to clean himself up. His eyes land on the cupboard hiding the safety pins and he opens it up only to find that there were no pins there. Stumped, Sungyeol sighs. His fingers run across the many dots across his wrist, he presses his nails in a little, but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t get that cold shiver up his spine.

Sungyeol finds his own pack of safety pins in his room, in his handy backpack. He grabs one and presses it into his skin. He’s done it enough times to know that the pain from a pressing in shallowly and the pain from pressing deeper into himself is the same. And at that moment, he deduces that the pain receptors must just be on his skin, and not deeper. And he wonders if he’ll feel anything if he pushes even deeper. But it’s just cold, cold, cold.

Throwing the pin away, Sungyeol sighs and pulls out his blankets and pillow onto the floor and lies down. He looks up and doesn’t move. Myungsoo comes home and he’s still looking up, not moving.

They’re lying side by side, Myungsoo is watching Sungyeol who is blankly staring up at the ceiling. Myungsoo wonders if Sungyeol even knows that there’s another person in the room with him, lying beside him, watching him and his every expression.

“Cheer me up?” Myungsoo asks Sungyeol with a small smile, his hand already reaching to hold Sungyeol’s hand. He watches as the older member turn to look at him with a little surprise before blinking a couple of times before he bursts into a bright smile, Myungsoo isn’t really listening when Sungyeol tells the other the prank he had just accomplished or his plans for his next prank. Myungsoo isn’t really listening when Sungyeol tells him a joke, or the silly things the members have done without him knowing. But when Sungyeol asks him; “are you feeling better now?” Myungsoo hears Sungyeol loud and clear.

But that’s the question Myungsoo wants to ask Sungyeol.

He could see how hard Sungyeol was trying to cover up his insecurities, his sadness, his forlorn expression, he could see the cracks in Sungyeol’s smile. It wasn’t as though Sungyeol painted over his own depression poorly, no, Sungyeol hid it well, it was just, there was nothing about Sungyeol Myungsoo did not know. After all, there was no one who was keeping a closer eye on Sungyeol than himself.

Myungsoo chooses to not say anything for that moment as he pulls Sungyeol towards him, his arms wrap securely around Sungyeol and he breathes in deeply.

There’s tension in the room, but Myungsoo pays it no heed, one of his hands slowly wander to stroke gently through Sungyeol’s hair.

“I love you”, Myungsoo whispers to Sungyeol. It’s something they both already know, something that didn’t need to be voiced out, but Myungsoo found that words that didn’t need to be voiced out were easier to say.

Sungyeol does not give Myungsoo a verbal reply. He shuts his eyes and inhales deeply too. Myungsoo was warm. He was comforting, and Sungyeol felt that maybe, he could sleep well that night.

Myungsoo sees the new dots on Sungyeol’s wrists. He wonders where Sungyeol is getting the pins from, he was sure he had disposed of the ones in the bathroom. And he worries.

The next morning, Myungsoo wakes up to the smell of coffee. It was familiar now, to wake up and have Sungyeol stare at him with a cup of coffee. But this time, he woke up because Sungyeol was jabbing him with his foot. A blank expression decorated Sungyeol’s face.

Tiredly rubbing his eyes, Myungsoo looked at Sungyeol before he attempted to roll back to sleep. He could hear Sungyeol walk out of their room. Just a little worried and curious as to why Sungyeol didn’t continue to bother him, Myungsoo sat up from his blankets before lazily standing up and walking out towards their living room. Of all things, Myungsoo did not expect to find Sungyeol neatly folding Dongwoo’s blankets. He never really understood why Dongwoo enjoyed sleeping in the living room, but if it meant there was more room where he slept, he didn’t mind.

Feeling just a little jealous that Sungyeol was folding Dongwoo’s blankets, Myungsoo flings himself over Sungyeol’s back. He knows he’s being childish, but that doesn’t mean he could stop himself with those random impulses.

“You’re heavy”, Sungyeol speaks in a voice quieter than usual, he was complaining but he made no move to detach the younger one from himself. Myungsoo only smiles to himself and puts more of his weight on the lankier, skinny Infinite member.

Dongwoo suddenly pops out of the bathroom drying his hair before staring blankly and the MyungYeol couple.

Myungsoo stares back as Sungyeol keeps muttering how heavy L is whilst he tries to straighten Dongwoo’s blankets.

“The bathroom is free now”, Dongwoo jerks a thumb behind him towards the bathroom before he pretends he never saw a lazy Myungsoo hanging off Sungyeol as he walks off to the kitchen.

Myungsoo lets go of Sungyeol and walks towards the bathroom, he hears Sungyeol sigh and sip at his coffee. Wanting to keep an eye on the other, Myungsoo turns around and slips his hand into Sungyeol’s hands and pull the taller one into the bathroom with him.

“Yeolie, wash my back for me ok?” Myungsoo asks as he locks the bathroom door, smiling at Sungyeol who was just looking at Myungsoo with surprise, one of his hands still holding onto his mug of coffee.

“You know…”, Sungyeol started speaking as he watched Myungsoo brush his teeth, “since when did both Dongwoo-hyung and you started getting up early for showers?”

Myungsoo shrugged as he gurgled. There was no way he was going to tell Sungyeol that after all this time, he only got Sungyeol to wake him up early was because he wanted to keep an eye on the other. He could tell that Sungyeol was sinking deeper into what psychologists would call depression. Yet, Myungsoo didn’t know how to help. Didn’t know how to comfort. Didn’t know the right words to say, so to him, just keeping Sungyeol beside him was the best he can think of so far. By keeping him close, he can hold the other’s hands, hug him and kiss him.

Sungyeol finishes drinking his coffee, ruffles Myungsoo’s already messy hair and then walks out of the bathroom with a, “you can wash your back yourself.”

Panicking, Myungsoo quickly pulls Sungyeol back into the bathroom. He pouts and Sungyeol rolls his eyes.

“Do you need me to undress you?” Myungsoo asks lazily as he starts pulling his pyjamas off.

“No, I’m grown up, I can do it myself”, Sungyeol replied, deciding he’ll humour Myungsoo a little, “unlike someone who can’t even wash their own back when they’re twenty already~”

Myungsoo decided to ignore Sungyeol’s playful taunt. “So? Why did you get up later than usual today?” Myungsoo asked, the usual being Sungyeol’s recent insomnia.

“Felt like being rebellious and sleeping in”, Sungyeol smiled cheekily as he wiggled out of his pyjamas too. Now that he thought about it, it was strange for Dongwoo to wake up around the same time he did, no matter how ‘early’ it was. Sungyeol wondered if it was because he was too loud when making coffee…but nothing should wake Dongwoo up, right? Sungyeol shrugged, Dongwoo was a strange hyung.

They showered to get rid of the grime, Sungyeol diligently cleaned Myungsoo’s back as gently as he could before they sat in the bathtub together watching it fill up.

“This, is it the first time we’ve taken a bath together?” Sungyeol asked, laughing a little as he flicked some water over to Myungsoo.

Myungsoo nodded before he stuck his hand out, “pass me your hand, Yeolie”

Sungyeol passed Myungsoo his right hand.

“No, the other one”, Myungsoo reached to grab Sungyeol’s left hand. He bought it above the water and stared, counting the number of dots he could see, trying to remember if there were any holes that weren’t there the last time he checked.

Sungyeol watched Myungsoo with a blank expression. He didn’t quite know what to think. Was he happy that Myungsoo was keeping such close tabs on him? Yes, kind of, but he knew that Myungsoo thought that those dots of dried blood were because of poor skin conditions, and not because Sungyeol was mutilating himself, sort of, with a safety pin.

“Seems like your skin is getting better”, Myungsoo smiled, blowing teasingly across Sungyeol’s wrist. Sungyeol quickly snatched his wrist back only to have Myungsoo catch it again, this time, interlocking their fingers so that they intertwined with each other.

“It’s nice isn’t it?” Myungsoo asked, “time to time, to take a bath together.”

Nodding, Sungyeol relished in the warmth of the bath. It definitely felt soothing, it was a feeling of relaxation, totally different to when he’s studying and practicing in the training room.

“Hey Myungsoo”, Sungyeol suddenly spoke up, opening eyes he hadn’t realised he had closed, “what kind of girl do you want to marry later on in life?”

Myungsoo wanted to ask Sungyeol if he was sick with a fever running or something, but instead, with his free hand he reached and groped Sungyeol’s privates.

Sungyeol’s high pitched squeal was expected, so was the red face, the scream and the foot that was pushing at Myungsoo’s face – “oh my gosh, Myungsoo what are you doing!?”

“Checking to see if you’re a girl”, Myungsoo replied with a smirk as he brushed Sungyeol’s foot off his face.

Sungyeol found himself wanting to dunk his head into the bath with embarrassment, “you don’t even need to check to know that I’m a guy, dammit!”

“Just making sure my eyes haven’t been deceiving me all this time”, Myungsoo was smiling, noticing that Sungyeol was still holding onto his hand, just tighter, probably from the shock. But even so, Myungsoo felt tremendously happy that Sungyeol was actually willing to hold his hand tighter. As though he never wanted to let go.

“But no, seriously, I wonder what kind of girl Myungsoo really wants in the future”, Sungyeol thought out loud.

“Are you saying you want me to have an affair, cheat on you in the future?” Myungsoo asked, brows furrowing in confusion.

“What? I never said that”, Sungyeol looked back with furrowed brows at Myungsoo

“Well, you implied it”, Myungsoo wanted to hit Sungyeol over the head.

“Huh? How?” Sungyeol was quizzical, wondering why they always went out of topic whenever they talked.

“Sungyeol-ah”, Myungsoo took Sungyeol’s other hand into his free hand so that he was holding both of Sungyeol’s hands, “really, it hurts me when you ask such questions. I only want to start a family with you, no one else.”

Sungyeol sighed, “I’m going to die one day, you know?”

“So morbid”, Myungsoo commented, “even so, I’ll only ever want you, seriously”, Myungsoo spoke genuinely, making sure that Sungyeol was also looking deep into his eyes.

“You’re going to change”, Sungyeol muttered as he let go of Myungsoo’s hands and got out of the bath, “one day, Sunggyu-hyung, Dongwoo-hyung, Woohyun-hyung, Hoya, Sungjong and you will all get married and have a really happy family with children and a lovely wife…”

“And are you…too?” Myungsoo asked, “are you planning to have a wife, have kids, a family without me?”

“Well”, Sungyeol began, paused and thought a little before continuing his thoughts, “I seriously don’t think I’m going to live to that age.”

Myungsoo was speechless for a couple of seconds. He squeezed Sungyeol’s hand back, “what if then, what if you do live long enough.”

Sungyeol wanted to turn his head away from Myungsoo, the younger’s stare was piercing. Instead, Sungyeol just averted his eyes down so that his eyes were no longer staring into the depths of Myungsoo’s eyes, “I don’t think I will.”

“Why?” Myungsoo questioned softly, “do you not think that you might change too?”

“Because I know myself well”, Sungyeol nodded, “so I know that I, my heart won’t change.”

“That…” Myungsoo began but was interrupted by Sungyeol.

“Just, Myungsoo, you, your face is so flawless…and I…”, Sungyeol bit his lips, squeezed his eyes shut tightly and held his breath.

“Sungyeol, are you forgetting that it’s what is inside your heart that counts?” Myungsoo smiled, his free hand reaching out to caress Sungyeol’s soft cheeks whilst attempting to wipe away the tears.

“I know”, Sungyeol sniffed, he didn’t know why he was tearing up just thinking about this, but he continued trying to explain to Myungsoo his thoughts, “you’re such a warm person, you can be cute and goofy, so loving and so ideal.”

“Even though I can be so short tempered and so stubborn?” Myungsoo pulled Sungyeol closer

Sungyeol nodded.

Myungsoo finds it nearly unbelievable that he didn’t know that Sungyeol’s insecurity were rooted so deeply. Perhaps he had had suspicions, but he had never really thought about it. He had just pushed it aside, thinking that it wasn’t possible to be so insecure and not show it at all. Perhaps, Sungyeol really is Infinite’s best actor, no, he had known for a long time that Sungyeol is a great actor. He just wanted to be the one to always be able to spot out when the other was acting or not, that’s all. Myungsoo held onto Sungyeol tighter, his heart breaking every time Sungyeol’s breathing became uneven and ragged, the after effects from crying.

By the time they hopped out of the bath and get dressed, Sungyeol is all dorky and smiling again. And Myungsoo knows he should not be surprised at the rate in which Sungyeol puts his mask back on, but he is. He, however is comforted by the fact that Sungyeol reached out to hold his hand, only letting go when they were eating and practicing.

A couple of night later, Sungyeol lies next to Myungsoo as they wait for Dongwoo to finish up in the bathroom. Their hands still connected.

“Myungsoo-ah”, Sungyeol says softly, he turns his head to the side so that he was looking at the younger, when Myungsoo turned back to look at him, Sungyeol knew that Myungsoo was listening.

“What is it?”

“I think I’m depressed”, Sungyeol confesses in a very quiet voice. As though it was something he was totally ashamed and embarrassed about.

“Do you?” Myungsoo asks, just as quiet.

“Yeah”, Sungyeol nods, his heart beating a little faster than he would’ve liked when Myungsoo shifted a little, his hand squeezing his own.

“Hm~” Myungsoo doesn’t really know what to ask, what to say. Doesn’t know how to tell Sungyeol that he cares and that he wants Sungyeol to trust and lean on him and just, he doesn’t know how to tell Sungyeol so many things. So he squeezes the other’s hand.

“I don’t think it’s too serious though”, Sungyeol states, as though saying that will make Myungsoo feel a little better, make himself feel a little better, “it’s mild depression?” Sungyeol pouted a little, he didn’t quite know the terms to use, “like, I, usually, well, it’s quite fleeting, and I don’t always feel so blue that I feel like dying is my only option.”

Myungsoo continued staring at Sungyeol and nodded.

“Sometimes, I don’t feel bad when I’m around you guys”, Sungyeol told Myungsoo, “I think, you guys are a distraction from my thoughts, kind of, you brighten up my world, I guess.” Sungyeol gave Myungsoo a small smile before he continued talking, “like, the sun in the sky.”

Myungsoo smiled back a little.

“But then, it really is like that, on rainy days, when the sun is clouded over, I can’t, and it hurts. At night, when it’s just the night sky, and I’m by myself, it hurts. Myungsoo, I, do you hate me now?”

“Why?” Myungsoo asked

“Because I’m using you and the members as distractors to pull myself away…” Sungyeol took in a deep breath, “I don’t know what I’ll do when the sun will cease to exist, when we won’t be together anymore.”

Myungsoo shook his head, “I don’t hate you”, he pulled Sungyeol closer to himself. It didn’t matter if they smelled of sweat, dirty from a hard day’s worth of training. Myungsoo wanted to have Sungyeol in his arms, “Sungyeol, I’m going to be here, right beside you, pull onto me when you’re suffering, I’ll make sure you’ll be able to come back to us, smiling, and happier than before.”

Sungyeol wanted to laugh, “I think I depend on you way too much.” To him, Myungsoo’s words always sounded so…believable. Maybe it was because Myungsoo is forever stubborn. Sungyeol wondered if he’d even be able to breathe when Myungsoo will one day leave his life. People change over time, they move on and sometimes even end up looking fickle. He wasn’t stupid. Sungyeol knew. And he dreaded waiting for it to happen. He is extremely selfish after all.

Myungsoo’s hand went up to ruffle Sungyeol’s hair, “I depend on you a lot too, you know?”

Head still buried in Myungsoo’s neck, Sungyeol shook his head, no, he didn’t know at all.

Myungsoo pulls away a little, his free hand cradles Sungyeol’s cheeks, he lifts them a little and presses his lips against Sungyeol’s lips. The older opens his mouth to let Myungsoo kiss him deeper. But Myungsoo wants to cry out in pain when Sungyeol does not kiss him back, only letting Myungsoo do whatever he wants. However, Myungsoo’s soul is tranquilised when he feels Sungyeol squeeze his hands. Even if Sungyeol was currently not interested in kissing, at least he still wanted to hold hands with Myungsoo.

Pulling away, Myungsoo kissed Sungyeol’s nose and then looked into the other’s eyes, “when you’re hurting, tell me, I’m here to listen.”

Sungyeol nodded. Tears were already pricking his eyes. He feels dirty. Next to Myungsoo, he feels dirty. And Sungyeol has to remind himself that he’s not just so he knows that he can look Myungsoo in the eye.

Myungsoo frowned a little and wiped away the tears. He doesn’t know if he’s said the right words, but he wants to believe what he’s telling Sungyeol is the correct thing to say.

After a performance on Inkigayo, Sunggyu pulls Sungyeol aside when they reach their dorms. The leader looks at Myungsoo who’s holding tightly onto Sungyeol’s shoulder, “Myungsoo, I want to talk to Sungyeol, alone.”

Myungsoo looks at Sungyeol and then back at Sunggyu and smiles, “he’ll tell me later anyway, so I might as well stick around and listen to what you want to tell our Yeolie.”

Sunggyu pretends to ignore Myungsoo (he wondered briefly when Myungsoo started to not quite listen to his orders) and looks at Sungyeol. The taller one shrugs, “I don’t mind.”

Running a hand through his hair, Sunggyu stares at Sungyeol for a while before he starts speaking, “you, you haven’t been looking good recently.”

Sungyeol raises an eyebrow. Myungsoo purses his lips. He thought that he was the only one who notices the subtle changes associated with Sungyeol. Obviously their leader had scrutinizing eyes on everyone.

“I asked around”, Sunggyu stated, “manager-hyung says that you haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Oh”, Sungyeol nodded, finally knowing where Sunggyu was heading with the conversation. He ignored the stare that Myungsoo was giving him.

There was a thick silence in the air as Sunggyu thought about what words he should use to ask Sungyeol who was looking terribly vulnerable. Myungsoo’s grip on Sungyeol’s shoulder only tightened. He didn’t know that Sungyeol wasn’t sleeping well. It was something he was going to talk about with the other later. After their leader is relieved that nothing dangerous is going on.

“I know you guys have been waking up earlier than early nowadays”, Sunggyu told the two and then muttered, “though I have no idea how you’re both living on such little hours of sleep.”

“Coffee”, Sungyeol smiled brightly, “hyung, you should try it too if you ever want to wake even earlier.

“Sungyeol-ah”, Sunggyu’s voice suddenly became more assertive and Sungyeol knew that Sunggyu was going to finally get to the point.

“Are you having nightmares?”

“What?” Myungsoo blurted out before Sungyeol could even respond to Sunggyu’s question. But they both did not miss the moment when Sungyeol averted his eyes from the leader for a second.

Sungyeol took in a deep breath and nodded. He could not lie, not to his leader who already knows. He felt ashamed as soon as he felt arms (most likely Myungsoo’s arms) wrap around him.

“How long has it been going on for?” Sunggyu asked, reaching out to bring Sungyeol into his arms.

“I can’t remember”, Sungyeol confessed with a shaky voice, “I just keep thinking that they’ll slowly dwindle away, so I try not to think about it.”

“Do you want to tell me what they’re about?” Sunggyu asks, trying to soothe the other.

Sungyeol shook his head, he didn’t want to tell anyone what his nightmares revolved around, “I’m sorry, hyung.”

Sunggyu nods with acknowledgement, “it’s okay, you can always tell me when you want to”, he lets go of Sungyeol  and brings up a proposition, “there’s a method”, Sunggyu speaks and waits for Sungyeol to look him in the eye before he continues speaking, “a way to rid of your nightmares.”

“Hyung?” Sungyeol wonders why he had never even thought about trying to get rid of his nightmares, he had only thought about ignoring them and hoping for them to disappear.

“It’s a method commonly used with little kids”

“Little kids?” Sungyeol is sceptical and he makes sure his leader knows that he’s unhappy with the words ‘little kid’.

“Well, you’re Infinite’s choding, so I was thinking that this must work”, Sunggyu joked, “I’m sure you must know about it too, sleeping pills, they’re given to little children who suffer from nightmares.”

“Oh…oh!” Sungyeol felt so stupid for not even thinking about such a simple solution.

“I take them from time to time”, Sunggyu says, “only when it’s really necessary though.”

(Sunggyu really didn’t want to make the younger members really think that he took even more pills for his health than what they already know of.)

Myungsoo did not like the idea of Sungyeol taking medication. Sungyeol wasn’t sick. He doesn’t need to take medication.

“Maybe you should give it a try”, Sunggyu suggested as he passed a bottle of sleeping pills to Sungyeol, “read the instructions carefully ok?”

Sungyeol nodded dumbly and thanked the leader who pat his head and then walked away, “I’ll try them tonight, thank-you.”

Noticing that Myungsoo was still staring at him, Sungyeol looked over to the younger who still had his arms tightly wrapped around him, “what’s wrong?” Sungyeol asked, unhappy with the sour expression Myungsoo was wearing.

“I didn’t know”, Myungsoo whispered, “I didn’t know that you haven’t been sleeping because of nightmares.”

“No one knew”, Sungyeol stated.

“Manager-hyung knew”, Myungsoo sighed. He didn’t like it. He found himself to be the one closest to Sungyeol, yet there were things other people knew of and he didn’t even know. Myungsoo felt just a little useless and a little guilty.

“I…he must be a light sleeper”, Sungyeol replied, nodding to himself, and then he remembers that sometimes, when he woke up early, he did remember someone in his room shuffling about in their bed, it must’ve been their worried manager.

“Wake me up the next time you wake from a nightmare, ok?” Myungsoo asks Sungyeol, really wanting the other to lean on him more.

Sungyeol shakes his head, “I, no, it’s ok”, the older shook Myungsoo off of him before he walked into his room.

Myungsoo did not frown, he merely followed Sungyeol.

“If you’d like, you can always sleep with me”, Myungsoo told Sungyeol, watching as he picked out pyjamas to change into after showering.

Sungyeol laughed. Myungsoo blinked.

“I’d rather not wake up with bruises all over, you move a lot when you sleep, I have no idea how Dongwoo-hyung survived sleeping beside you”, Sungyeol chuckles and shakes his head.

Dongwoo chooses that moment to walk in at the sound of his name, “what? What’s this about me?”

“Ah, nothing!” Sungyeol replies quickly, “hyung, you showering?”

Dongwoo looks a little suspiciously at the other two but decides to ignore it, “yeah, I’ll let you guys know when I’m done”, he takes his clothes and heads out.

Myungsoo sits next to Sungyeol who was sitting against the wall and asks, “do you want to talk about it?”

“Hm?” Sungyeol feigns ignorance. He knows well what Myungsoo wants to ask him.

“Want to talk about it?” Myungsoo places a hand on top of Sungyeol’s hand, “your nightmares.”

Sungyeol smiles and shakes his head, “let’s talk about something else!”

“No”, Myungsoo said, he held onto Sungyeol’s hand, making sure the other won’t pull away, “do you still not trust me?”

Sungyeol just wanted to laugh the conversation off.

Myungsoo knew that Sungyeol had trouble delving really personal matters to people, he knew that Sungyeol was afraid to place an imaginable amount of trust into other people. But that didn’t stop Myungsoo from wanting Sungyeol to trust wholly in him.

“I’m not going to leave you”, Myungsoo assured, tightening his hold on Sungyeol’s hand. He gave Sungyeol a confident smile.

Looking at Myungsoo, Sungyeol returns the smile, “it’s hard…I can’t help but think that you’re going to leave me one day.”

Staying quiet, Myungsoo only keeps looking at the insecure Sungyeol and waits for him to keep talking.

“Eternity doesn’t exist”, Sungyeol sighed even though he was still wearing a smile, “people come and then they go, in each stage of our lives, people just enter and exist, one day, you will exit from my life too”, Sungyeol smiled a little bitterly at Myungsoo, “I don’t think I’m capable of investing so much in someone who will leave me in the end.”

“Does that mean, if you know everything about me, that if you know that I trust you whole heartedly and know that I will not leave you, then you will trust me too?” Myungsoo asked, watching as Sungyeol thought over it. If Sungyeol knew everything there is to know about Myungsoo, he’d know that Myungsoo would never leave Sungyeol.

Myungsoo decided to not wait any longer as he started sprouting anything he could think of, but after a while, Myungsoo realised that the things he was telling Sungyeol, the other already knew. Placing his free hand behind Sungyeol’s neck, Myungsoo pulled the taller one in for a kiss. Lips parted and tongues met, the kiss was as simple as that.

“Look, you even trust me enough now to kiss me back”, Myungsoo smiled happily at Sungyeol, “surely, you can tell me.”

Sungyeol touched his lips gingerly, “I, I guess”, Sungyeol squeezed Myungsoo’s hand a little, “they’re actually not that bad, the nightmares, they just keep me from falling back to sleep. They’re nothing too gruesome, just blood, nothingness and a lot of screaming.”

“Mm~” Myungsoo prompted for Sungyeol to keep talking.

“I get a lot of repeated nightmares. It’s chilly. In the end, I’m usually alone, falling off what I assume is a cliff”, Sungyeol tried to explain his nightmares, but they never really made much sense, so it was hard to recall, “I just, wake up, frightened, sweating, and then I can’t fall back asleep. The off chance I do fall back asleep, I just have another nightmare, and well, who will put themselves through that pain? It’s not like I’m trying to kill myself.”

Myungsoo was glad that Sungyeol told him truthfully that he did not want to kill himself. The younger plucks up his courage and asks the older, “before, the pins…” and that is all Myungsoo needed to say for Sungyeol to understand what Myungsoo was trying to ask. Understood that Myungsoo had never bought his lame excuse of rashes, that Myungsoo knew from that night on that Sungyeol had relented to the ‘comfort’ of the safety pins.

“The pins”, Sungyeol consciously wants to grab his wrists, but the hand holding onto his hand prevents him from taking his own hand back, “it’s not like I want to kill myself, really”, Sungyeol looks at Myungsoo, asking silently, praying that Myungsoo understood him clearly.

He wanted to live. Right now, he isn’t good enough for a lot of things. He doesn’t find himself worthy of Myungsoo’s attention, or anyone else for that matter. But because he is still living, he can improve, and one day, he will deem himself worthy of gentle eyes and soft fluttering kisses. One day, he will say with 100% confidence that he belongs to Infinite like all of his members, he will be able to say that he belongs to his family and that he is a good son.

“I hear you”, Myungsoo pressed his forehead against Sungyeol’s forehead, “I hear you”, he repeated before he pulled away and placed a kiss on the other’s nose.

Sungyeol brings a hand up to fix his fringe and bangs a little, a smile tugging at his lips, “you know, I just wanted to remind myself that I could still feel.”

“Feel?”

“Yeah”, Sungyeol nodded, “I could feel when I poked myself, each time, the pin would tell me that I can still feel, that I’m not numb yet. To me, it was soothing to know that my pain sensors were still there.”

There were so many comments Myungsoo wanted to make, but they were all inappropriate, so he opted to not say anything at all.

“I think, I’m scared of death”, Sungyeol sighed, yeah, he was scared of death. That was probably the main reason he chose not to slice open his wrists. He didn’t want a messy death, nor did he want to leave scars on his wrists for the whole world to see. If he died, he wanted to die beautifully and peacefully, not something filled with blood, not something similar to his nightmares, no, no, no.

“Sometimes…I feel like giving up”, Sungyeol confessed, “but I know that this road is the path that I have chosen, and I feel blessed, I guess, that I’ve been given this chance to walk down this road with everyone, so, so…”

Myungsoo realised that Sungyeol was choking up in tears and quickly wrapped his arms around the other. He hadn’t meant to see Sungyeol cry. It was cute, he admitted, but he knew the other was in pain, and no matter how adorable the other looked whilst crying, the fact that Sungyeol was suffering just tugged too hard on Myungsoo’s heart. Myungsoo felt bad for bringing up the topic, but was glad he did because it was necessary.

Sungyeol’s tears slowly stopped, his head was leaning on Myungsoo’s shoulders, “hey, I wonder, if a time will come when I will find something I would give my dreams up for.”

“You mean”, Myungsoo took in a deep breath, his eyes looking at their linked hands, “I’m not enough to keep you here?”

Sungyeol lifts his head from Myungsoo’s shoulders and wonders where that question came from. He really couldn’t think of anything that would drive him away from his dream, he does know that Myungsoo is a reason he’s still here though, “kind of, you’re a part of my dream”, Sungyeol mutters before plopping his head back on Myungsoo’s shoulder.

Blinking, Myungsoo couldn’t refrain the smile that carved its way onto his face. He was more than satisfied with Sungyeol. It was a little too cheesy, but Myungsoo brushed it off as the result of Sungyeol hanging around with Woohyun too much.

“Yeah, there’s many paths to my dream, if something blocks it, I’ll just take another route”, Sungyeol nodded as he told Myungsoo his thoughts, “I’m going to reach it.”

A couple of hours later, Sungyeol carefully reads the warnings and directions on the label of the small container of sleeping pills. He nods to himself as he takes the prescribed amount (for Sunggyu) of the tablets. He was hoping deeply that the pills would work.

The next morning, Sungyeol wakes up rubbings his eyes and he realises that the manager is shaking his shoulders, “Sungyeol, it’s time to get up.”

Sitting up albeit groggily, Sungyeol nods and climbs out of his blankets. He blinks a couple of times before he shakes his head and checks the time. He hadn’t woken up extra early. He looked to his side to find that Myungsoo was yawning and stretching his limbs as he got up. Quickly, Sungyeol goes to Myungsoo’s side and smiles happily, shaking the other.

“Myungsoo-ah! Myungsoo-ah!” Sungyeol cries with joy.

“Ah? Why are you so loud?” Myungsoo frowns and squints, “so bright…where’s your coffee?” He waves his hand around, signalling for Sungyeol to pass him a cup of coffee.

“I slept in today”, Sungyeol beams brightly, “I didn’t wake up abnormally early. The sleeping pills are working, Myungsoo, it’s great! I haven’t slept so well in ages!”

Myungsoo blinks away his weariness before he returns Sungyeol’s smile and hugs the other tightly. He knew that Sunggyu’s method had worked. He had woken up at the same time as every other morning the past month or so, yet when he looked, his Sungyeol was sleeping peacefully, so he had opted to snuggle back into his blankets to sleep some more, perhaps, he’d be able to dream the same dream as the other.

Sunggyu chooses that moment to open the door and interrupt the two, “Sungyeol?”

“Hyung!” Sungyeol smiles, “good morning!”

“Did you try the pills?” Sunggyu asks, “how was it?”

Sungyeol nods, “I slept better, thank-you so much!”

Myungsoo watches as Sunggyu smiles with relief. His mood immediately becomes brighter as Sungyeol’s mood obviously became fluffier, more excited, more smiles. And Myungsoo could not deny that he thoroughly enjoyed the attention Sungyeol was showering him with. Even before Sungyeol started acting weird, Sungyeol only returned Myungsoo’s advances when no one else was looking because he was shy. And now, after that one night of good sleep, Myungsoo could feel that Sungyeol’s excited and lovableness was slowly coming back to life.

“Myungsoo-ah”, Sungyeol passed the other an extra bowl of soup to the other, “you need to drink more of this, ok? It’s good for your body.”

Myungsoo looked up just a little surprised at Sungyeol, he had almost forgotten that Sungyeol could be caring like that. But then he sees the coffee Sungyeol is sipping on and reaches out to take that instead and childishly tells the other, “I want to drink the same thing as you.”

At the end of the rather tiring day, Sungyeol finds himself sitting in the bath together with Myungsoo. He yawns. He really feels as though he could just sleep fall asleep right then and there.

Myungsoo played with Sungyeol’s finger tips by poking them.

“You know, Myungsoo”, Sungyeol says as he stares at the other.

“Hm?” Myungsoo looks up and smiles at Sungyeol.

“The more I look at you, the more beautiful you are”, Sungyeol smiles, his hand moving to hold Myungsoo’s hand, “really, that’s what I feel.”

Myungsoo is a bit flabbergasted, he doesn’t know how to respond to Sungyeol. He feels way too flattered, too touched by Sungyeol’s words, Sungyeol’s feelings.

Sungyeol frowns before he leans forward in the small bathtub and presses his lips against Myungsoo’s lips. Myungsoo’s hand automatically slither around Sungyeol’s waist and holds the taller INFINITE member in place.

Leaning back, Sungyeol disconnected their kiss and pressed his forehead against Myungsoo’s forehead, he smiles widely and then presses his lips against the other’s lips again. And Myungsoo smiles even wider into the kiss, tongues meet and the kiss makes a messy turn. Sungyeol squirms a little when Myungsoo stars rubbing up and down his back. It was just a little ticklish. Myungsoo notices and wants to laugh, but instead, he continues kissing Sungyeol and pinches Sungyeol’s side.

When Sungyeol jerks and breaks off the kiss because of the pinch, Myungsoo laughs before he pulls Sungyeol in and hugs him tight.

“What was that for?” Sungyeol grumbles, nuzzling into the other’s neck.

“Your skin is too smooth”, Myungsoo chuckles.

Sungyeol pouts and ends up having his arms wrapped around the other’s neck.

“You know, Myungsoo”, Sungyeol smiles as Myungsoo’s hands wander across his back again, “in my eyes, you are the most beautiful.”

“But to me, you’re the most beautiful in the world”, Myungsoo whispers, “will you let me grow old with you? Someone so beautiful? Let me grow old with you who is so beautiful?”

“Eh?” Sungyeol pulls away and looks at Myungsoo with scrutinising eyes, “I swear you’ve told me that you think your bamboo pillow is the most beautiful in the world, since when did your perception change?”

“Since I’ve had you in my arms?” Myungsoo states a bit hesitantly before he quickly pulls Sungyeol back into his arms so that he could hide the blush that was slowly forming on his cheeks.

“It sounds like you’re proposing”, Sungyeol chuckled, jabbing Myungsoo’s side with a finger.

Myungsoo kissed the top of Sungyeol’s head, “what if I am?”

“Eh?”

“Don’t you want to sleep with me every night?” Myungsoo asks.

“Ah?” Sungyeol looks up at Myungsoo weirdly, “for real?”

“Well, I don’t have a ring yet…” Myungsoo bites his lips, “but, will my thoughts do for now?”

Sungyeol pulls himself up and places a kiss on Myungsoo’s cheek, “I will wait for the ring then.”

Myungsoo’s hand travels to hold the back of Sungyeol’s head, he manoeuvres it so that their lips were touching again. Their eyelids flutter shut and Myungsoo tries to nibble on Sungyeol’s lips as delicately as he can. Sungyeol winces anyway.

That night, Myungsoo noticed Sungyeol open up his laptop and type into it. He snuck a glance and noticed that Sungyeol had added new entries without him knowing. Myungsoo continues to read and when he realises that he’s reading the line _‘Myungsoo-ah, I really like you’_ does the fact that Sungyeol knew he was peeping sink into him. He scoots forward and wraps his arms around the other’s waist.

“Me too, I love you”, his whisper into Sungyeol’s ear is laced with content.

(I love you, love you, you.)

Over the next couple of days, Myungsoo notices that Sungyeol is feeling better. Myungsoo remembers waking up at an ungodly time and catching an exhausted Sungyeol in the middle of a text conversation with his mother. He could slowly see more of the Sungyeol that wasn’t hiding behind a persona. Yet it didn’t take a genius to notice that the sleeping pills made Sungyeol look less active, as though his energy had been zapped from him.

It took less than a week before Myungsoo found himself waking up to the scent of coffee again.

“Sungyeolie?” Myungsoo sat up and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Sorry, it’s not working”, Sungyeol whispers before he leaves the bedroom. Myungsoo follows him.

The two sit on the wooden floor of their training room. Sungyeol is holding onto a cup of coffee.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Myungsoo asks with minimal hesitation in his voice. His hand comfortably rests on Sungyeol’s knee.

“I was going to try sleeping without the pills after a week, I was lessening the dosage I was taking each night, but last night”, Sungyeol glanced at Myungsoo, “last night, I had another nightmare and couldn’t sleep.”

Myungsoo rubs Sungyeol’s knee gently.

“I’m sorry for waking you up.”

Myungsoo frowns, “you don’t need to be.”

Sungyeol sighs into his cup of coffee.

“I heard that drinking  a cup of warm milk before bed will soothe you and let you sleep better”, Myungsoo said, still rubbing circles on Sungyeol’s knee.

“Myungsoo, I can’t, I’m going to end up even fatter if I do”, Sungyeol frowned before looking back down on his cup of coffee.

Raising an eyebrow at the taller member, Myungsoo decided not to comment on Sungyeol’s reasoning.

“Myungsoo-ah”, Sungyeol looks up from his coffee and at the other, “I think this depression is a symptom of the stress I’m going through.” He notes the worry written all across Myungsoo’s face, and then he remembers the smile the other had given him when he had told Myungsoo that he hadn’t had any nightmares, that he had slept peacefully. Sungyeol wants to see that more.

He’s just anxious. It’s a build-up of anxiety, of what-ifs, of lamentation.

Myungsoo grabs Sungyeol’s coffee and places it aside before he leans forward to envelope the other into a hug, “you can always share your burdens with me.”

“I’m sorry”, Sungyeol apologises, “you must be worried sick over me.”

And Myungsoo doesn’t even need to confirm that statement.

Sungyeol tells Myungsoo about his lack of confidence in his voice, he talks about how his acting just simply, isn’t good enough, he talks about how his limbs are too long and how he can’t feel the dance moves, he talks about how misplaced his feels inside of Infinite, he talks about how the layers of his dreams, he tells Myungsoo that he wants Infinite to do well, that it is one of his dreams to see Infinite as number one, but his ultimate dream is still acting. He reveals his insecurity when he stands next to Infinite, when he stands next to Myungsoo, he tells the younger that he just isn’t suitable in too many ways. He feels inferior, and he wants to work on it, but he doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. The distance between him and all the other members is a deep, deep rift that is, that seemed infinitely endless. Sungyeol keeps talking about how little words that don’t matter seem to pierce through him and manifest. He’s weak.

He tells Myungsoo that there are times when he’s laughing, and he’s not thinking about everything else that’s crammed into his head, and he likes that feeling, he confesses that he wants to be happy, that he likes watching Myungsoo smile, that he likes hearing the other’s laughter, that he likes the other’s touches, that he just wants to be the normal Lee Sungyeol again.

Myungsoo holds Sungyeol tighter. The Sungyeol he was holding in his arms now is a part of that normal Lee Sungyeol in which Sungyeol is searching for. Myungsoo tells Sungyeol that, and he wonders if he’s expressed himself clear enough. He wonders if there is anything in his words in which Sungyeol may misunderstand from.

Sungyeol takes in a deep breath and declares that he’s got to be stronger. That he was going to straighten out the messy him. He looks at Myungsoo, gives a small smile before leaning forward and placing a peck on the other’s cheeks. He watches as Myungsoo smiles and watches as the other’s cheeks dust pink. And Sungyeol chuckles, he stands up and pulls Myungsoo up with him, knocking over the cup of coffee in the process.

“Ah!” Sungyeol cringes as he quickly dashes off into the kitchen to grab a cleaning cloth, he walks back in and smiles sheepishly, “it’s me who’s clumsy for once.”

And Myungsoo whacks Sungyeol’s arm lightly before helping the other clean up. He starts humming the tune to their new title track and Sungyeol starts singing along, and before they knew it, they were singing together, looking at each other whilst making weird faces to see who would laugh first.

Smiling happily, Sungyeol was determined to try steer his life into the ideal position again, he wants to reach perfection, and he’ll just have to do it in his own way.

Because he is strong. So he needs to be strong.

That night, Sungyeol looks at the pills and feels pathetic to even rely on them. But they are supposed to work splendidly. They remind him to try and be stronger, it’s a stepping stone. And they give Sunggyu and Myungsoo both relieved smiles. Sungyeol tips out a couple and swallows them. He was hoping to have a nightmare free sleep, one where he can sleep without disturbances.

(He longs for the warmth of the safety pins.)

He wakes up not long after with tears streaming down his cheeks, a choke is muffled as he digs his head into his covers. Sungyeol grips the bottle of sleeping pills tightly and lets his tears soak into his blankets. This time, he had woken up from a dream where he had no contact with anyone. Where he wasn’t even a nobody. A world where he couldn’t even be ignored because he needed to be something to be ignored in the first place.

The next morning, Myungsoo does not wake up to the smell of coffee or Sungyeol’s or anyone else’s pester. Rubbing his eyes curiously, Myungsoo notes that Sungyeol was still sleeping. Even when sleeping, Sungyeol’s hair was still tidy and perfect. The younger ran a hand through his own hair and chuckled a little. He couldn’t get back to sleep again, because Sungyeol had been waking him up so early for so long, Myungsoo agreed that he was only up now because his internal clock had been reset by Infinite’s choding..

Stretching as he got up, the second tallest member of Infinite headed towards the kitchen, he was going to make a cup of coffee for the still slumbering Sungyeol. At least he could do that for his Sungyeol. Myungsoo tampered a little with the coffee machine in the kitchen before he felt as though he got it right, it certainly was a familiar smell. Smiling cheerfully, Myungsoo greeted their manager who just woke up.

Their managers worried but no longer raised an eyebrow when Myungsoo or Sungyeol and as of late, Dongwoo, woke up earlier than early.

“Sungyeol~” Myungsoo cooed as he went into their shared room, “Sungyeol-ah”, Myungsoo walked towards Sungyeol and placed the cup of coffee aside, “Sungyeolie? It’s not right for you to wake up after me you know?”

Carefully, Myungsoo took Sungyeol’s eye mask off and grinned. The other didn’t move, still looking as perfect as ever. Huffing quietly, the thought that Sungyeol might be pretending to be sleeping slipped into Myungsoo’s mind.

Putting his hands on either side of Sungyeol’s head, Myungsoo smiled and leaned down to press his lips on the other. He kept his eyes open to watch Sungyeol’s reaction, however, Myungsoo found himself pulling away before he could even think about Sungyeol’s lack of reaction.

His lips were cold.

“Sungyeolie-ah?” Myungsoo whispers as he moves his hands to cup the other’s cheeks.

His cheeks were colder than his lips.

“Cheer me up”, Myungsoo desperately begged the older his hands feel from Sungyeol’s cheeks and his fingers gripped tightly into Sungyeol’s stiff shoulders. _Just, please, speak to me_.

It took Myungsoo five hard minutes to acknowledge that Sungyeol was not playing dead, to acknowledge that Sungyeol was no longer breathing and to acknowledge that Sungyeol was dead. Sungyeol was the one who left first. Sungyeol was going to sleep for an infinite amount of time.

An empty sleeping pill container sat at the foot of Sungyeol’s bed.

The smell of coffee tingled with his senses as Myungsoo pulled Sungyeol into his embrace.

It only took another sniff of the coffee for Myungsoo to realise that Sungyeol was never going to answer him again.


	2. Time

**Title:** Time  
**Type:** Oneshot  
**Characters:** INFINITE  
**Pairing:** Myungsoo/Sungyeol  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings:** none  
**Length:** ~5,590  
**Prompt:** from myungyeol_love challenge: #07 - Time  
**A/N:** Wanted to write something more light hearted and happy ^^

**Sunggyu**

“What are you doing?” Sunggyu asks as he watches Myungsoo fiddle with the coffee machine, “is the machine broken?”

Myungsoo shook his head briefly before he went back to concentrating on the coffee machine.

Sunggyu watched for a while, he couldn’t help but laugh out loud when he noticed that Myungsoo’s fingers had stopped probing the coffee machine, and instead, he was having a staring contest with the machine.

“Hyung?” Myungsoo glanced at Sunggyu curiously, “what’s so funny?”

Sunggyu tries to clam himself down, and waves Myungsoo off when he realises that he’s finding it hard to stifle his laughter.

“Hyung?” Myungsoo asks again, eyebrows raised.

“So-sorry, it’s just so funny to see you staring at the coffee machine”, Sunggyu’s breaths are irregular as he swallows his laughs.

“Hah….”, Myungsoo sighs, “do you know how to work this machine?”

Sunggyu shakes his head, “go ask the choding, he’d know for sure.”

Myungsoo shakes his head and says with a bitter tone, “anyone but him.”

“Eh?” Sunggyu looks at their centre visual weirdly, “you guys…fought? Like a real fight?” he blinks his eyes in disbelief and then mumbles, “that’s a first…”

Myungsoo looked up with shocked eyes, “what? We fought?” He placed his hands on the leaders’ shoulders and shook them lightly, “hyung, can you go check and figure out why Sungyeolie is mad at me, please?”

“Uh, Myungsoo-“

“I’ll get this coffee done for him soon, so just a for a while? Make sure he’s not crying?”

At that moment, Sungyeol slowly stepped out of his room with a pout, “Myungsoo-ah, did you not say you were going to make me coffee?”

“Ah, Sungyeolie!” Myungsoo quickly placed his attention to the other and went towards him, “you’re not feeling well, go back to bed!”

“What’s taking you so long? Did you make it and then drink it all yourself?” Sungyeol pulled a long face, acting as though he was majorly disappointed in the other.

“I’m sorry, how long did I make you wait for?” Myungsoo apologises as he wraps his arms around the other, pressing his chest to the taller one’s back.

“A long time!”, Sungyeol heads towards the coffee machine with tired eyes, “guess I’ll just make it myself. Can’t wait for you to slowly make it all and then drink it all yourself.”

Sunggyu scoffs in the background, 10 minutes is not a long time. He rolls his eyes at the two. It was cute when they behaved like that at first, but then it just got a bit too much and proved to be a point to be envious of by all the other members who did not live with their lovers, if they did have a lover. Sunggyu rubs his forehead tiredly.

“I wouldn’t even have the chance to drink coffee without you, you can smell it from 5 blocks away…probably”, Myungsoo exaggerated as he watched Sungyeol work magic with the coffee machine.

“Sunggyu-hyung, do you want some too?” Sungyeol asks with a small smile, his bright round eyes light up as he looks at the leader.

Sunggyu couldn’t deny that he was happy that Sungyeol asked…but…”Nah, it’s okay, wouldn’t want to interrupt you two lovebirds on their indoor coffee date or whatever this is right now”, he waves his hands towards Sungyeol with Myungsoo clinging onto his back, both of them clad in pyjamas.

As he leaves the two alone, he could hear the both of them denying that they were in any special kind of relationship, and Sunggyu scoffs for the second time that day, there was nothing more glaringly obvious than them.

**Dongwoo**

“Sungyeolie-ah!” Dongwoo popped his head into the room shared by Hoya, Sungyeol and Sungjong.

“Hm? Hyung?” Sungyeol looked at Dongwoo from his bed, “what is it?”

“Want to watch a movie with me?” Dongwoo asked with excitement.

“Movie!? Okay!” Sungyeol smiled back and hopped down from his bunk bed, “do you guys want to come too?” Sungyeol asked Hoya and Sungjong, “it’s been a while since we’ve even had time to watch a movie you know?”

The two other roommates shook their heads and went back to whatever they were doing. Shrugging, Sungyeol followed Dongwoo into the living room.

“What do you want to watch?” Dongwoo asked

“Anything is good”, Sungyeol’s eyes were littered with stars, “I haven’t watched a movie in ages!”

“Keke, we should do this more often, when we have time”, Dongwoo randomly chose a DVD and put it in the player, “and maybe, when Myungsoo is off filming.”

“When is he coming back anyway?” Sungyeol asked, pouting a little as he made himself comfortable, snuggling up to his blankets, pillows and soft toys that he had bought out to watch the movie with.

“Eh? I thought you’d know, you being his bestie and all”, Dongwoo looked back at Sungyeol before he took a seat next to the other and covered himself with blankets.

“I was just testing you”, Sungyeol laughed, “of course I know when he’s coming back!”

“Oh?” Dongwoo laughed when Sungyeol laughed, “care to tell your hyung?”

“You want to know?” Sungyeol smiled.

Dongwoo nodded, going along with whatever Sungyeol had in mind, it wouldn’t hurt to humour the younger every now and then.

“Well, I’m not going to tell you since you want to know~” Sungyeol stuck his tongue out and then turned his attention to the television, “hyung, really? Harry Potter!?”

“You said anything will do”, Dongwoo shrugged his shoulders and then grinned, “I vote for you to go change discs when we’re done with this movie.”

“Hyung! Now we HAVE to watch all the movies! Should’ve chosen a standalone instead!” Sungyeol nagged but was still smiling nonetheless, “at least we’re not starting with movie 1.”

“Maybe”, Dongwoo turned to place his attention on Sungyeol who still had his eyes glued to the screen, “maybe Myungsoo will be home by the time we’ve gone through a couple of movies.”

Dongwoo watched as the tip of Sungyeol’s ears turned red, he could see pink lightly dust the other’s cheeks, and Dongwoo’s smile widened when Sungyeol bit his bottom lip.

They’ve gone through a couple or so movies. Towards the end of the last Harry Potter movie, it leaves both Sungyeol and Dongwoo choking on tears.

At that moment, the front door opens, Dongwoo squints to see who it was that just walked through. He greets their manager and Myungsoo with a teary face.

“The both of you better go to sleep soon, it’s time for bed”, their manager rolls his eyes and then heads into the kitchen.

Dongwoo nods and wipes his wet cheeks dry. He looks over to see if Sungyeol was still crying only to find that Myungsoo was already pampering the other, lightly patting the other’s cheeks dry.

“Myungsoo~” Sungyeol cries as he wraps his arms around the other’s neck and continues crying into the other’s shoulders.

Dongwoo watches with sniffles as Myungsoo gently pats the other’s back, as though he were soothing a newborn baby. He listens again to the complaints Sungyeol had over the deaths in Harry Potter. And it makes Dongwoo smile a little. He rubs his eyes again, switches off the television and ruffles Sungyeol’s hair with a chuckle.

“I’ll take Sungyeol’s bunk, so you can comfort this giant baby, okay?” Dongwoo smiles at Myungsoo who smiles back reassuringly. Dongwoo stretches his limbs and then heads into the bunk bed room.

The next morning, Dongwoo wakes up to a very unhappy looking Sungyeol.

“Uh?” Dongwoo blinks his eyes blankly.

“Hyung!” Sungyeol cries unhappily, “how could you!?”

“What?” Dongwoo rubs his eyes and looks at Sungyeol questioningly.

“You left me to be abused by Myungsoo in his sleep! I’ve got all these bruises now! And he wouldn’t stop talking in his sleep too! Hyung! Explain!” Sungyeol pouts as his grip on the ladder tightens.

Dongwoo smiles, “you’ll get use to it over time, now go away, I need to sleep”, Dongwoo turned to his side and closed his eyes happily. The last thing he heard was Sungyeol mumbling about wanting to watch Toy Story next time.

**Woohyun**

“So…you’re asking me to teach you how to court someone?” Woohyun asks Myungsoo for the nth time that day, as he stares at Myungsoo with thin eyes.

Myungsoo nods and gives Woohyun a small smile, “please?”

“Why? Why? Why?” Woohyun places the magazine he was flipping through before aside and quirks an eyebrow at the younger, “why ask me when there are so many other people you can ask?”

“Aren’t you the best at this?” Myungsoo asks, fidgeting uncomfortably as he purses his lips.

Woohyun wonders if Myungsoo is sane, “why are you so nervous anyway? It’s not like I’m going to chop your head off…”

Myungsoo’s lips twitched up a little and he gave a hollow laugh, “hyung, maybe if you weren’t so unapproachable when we’re off camera.”

“Being blunt now are we?” Woohyun’s voice dropped.

Myungsoo held up his hands in defence, a shaky smile on his face.

“Hold on, why are you even asking such a question? You know we’re not allowed to date right?” Woohyun pokes Myungsoo’s forehead with his index finger, half wondering if the other’s head was hollow…or full of grass.

“I know, hyung, I know”, Myungsoo grimaces and rubs his forehead, “just teach me how to best court someone.”

“No, no, no, I can’t watch my dongsaeng break the rule like that, you do realise that you’re risking all of use, all of Infinite right?” Woohyun shakes his head and wonders how he could best put some sense in the other, “when the Inspirits find out, they’re going to have a field day! Not to mention CEO-nim is going to murder you!”

Myungsoo scrunched his nose and then waved it off, “it’ll be fine.”

“Huh?” Woohyun sits up straight and sighs, knowing that his behaviour would look a tad bit menacing to the younger singer, “if you’re not going to explain just how it will be FINE, then get out.”

Myungsoo frowned and dropped his head, “it might be hard to actually have CEO-nim give him to me, but I think if I can make him happy, everything will turn out okay.”

Nodding, Woohyun followed all of Myungsoo’s words, “wait, him? HIM?” Woohyun’s jaw dropped, “Myungsoo, you like guys?”

“Ah well, this is awkward”, Myungsoo smiled and ruffled his hair a bit, “hyung, I thought you knew?”

Shaking his head, Woohyun was shocked, “I didn’t know, really, I didn’t…”, Woohyun frowned again, “hold up, this boy you’re crushing on…he isn’t…” Woohyun’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s Sungyeolie”, Myungsoo smiled brightly.

Woohyun planted his face on his palm, “so all those moments for the Inspirits weren’t just you acting like you were stuck in some unrequited love for Sungyeolie!?”

Smiling sheepishly, Myungsoo nodded, “I’m still a great actor though.”

“Psh, whatever”, Woohyun brushed the younger off again, “I guess if you guys do get caught you could always pass it off as practicing fanservice.”

“Right, right”, Myungsoo nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly even though he just wanted to tell the whole world that he likes Sungyeol.

“As for CEO-nim…hah, it’ll be hard for him to give up his choding baby, why is he so biased anyway?” Woohyun scowled.

“It’s cause you always dampen the mood, no fun to be around”, Myungsoo said quietly before rolling his eyes.

“I’ll pretend I did not hear that”, Woohyun glared at the younger.

“Anyway, hyung, before we, I, we, I, whatever, need to worry about those kind of things, I need to have Sungyeolie like me back, so help me?” Myungsoo pleaded.

“What’s in it for me?” Woohyun asked, crossing his arms.

“Um…”, Myungsoo gulped as he racked his mind for something he could offer in return.

“I’m just kidding!” Woohyun knocked the other’s head lightly with his fist, “but really, aren’t the two of you best friends, he likes you enough, right?”

“Um…”, Myungsoo bit his lips, “he likes me only enough to be best friends?”

“Oh, I don’t know, why don’t you just attack him when he’s in the shower or something?” Woohyun suggested lightly, waving his hand around.

“What?” Myungsoo looked at Woohyun in shock, “that’s so rude!”

“I was joking…”, Woohyun sighed.

“And that’s what we mean by you ruining the mood”, Myungsoo stated and then decided for good measure to add a “hyung” at the end.

Woohyun stood up and stretched his arms, “but no, really, Myungsoo, just pin him to the wall now, later, whenever, time and place doesn’t really matter I guess and then molest him and tell him that you love him and that he can’t love anyone else but you.”

“Hyung!” Myungsoo stood up as well, “you’re not going to help me are you? And how can time and place not matter for something like that!?”

Woohyun shrugged, “you’re asking the right person the wrong question, go to Dongwoo or something if you want to know how to win a girl – er, or a guy like Sungyeolie’s heart.”

Myungsoo crossed his arms.

“Dongwoo’s good at being honest, sincere and blunt”, Woohyun smiled, “aren’t those traits all girls want? Maybe not always the blunt bit, but you know what I mean.”

Myungsoo sighed as he left Woohyun alone in his room and wondered is a more subtle version of what Woohyun had suggested would be able to win him the heart of Infinite’s resident choding. He quite liked Woohyun’s idea after all.

**Hoya**

Hoya noticed during their predebut days, that despite being the same age, Sungyeol’s urge to communicate with his family was always harder to restrain. It wasn’t like he didn’t miss his family and didn’t want to see them either…it was just, he was better at holding back then Sungyeol is.

“Sungyeolie, you’re not sleeping?” Hoya asks, his eyes staring at the bottom of Sungjong’s bed.

“Hm?”

He can hear Sungyeol shift a little in his bed, probably so that the tall boy could take a better look at Hoya.

“Are you texting?” Hoya asks.

“Ah, yeah”, Sungyeol’s voice is quiet, “sorry, am I bothering you?”

“Mm, no? Not really”, Hoya answers, he really wasn’t bothered, he was a bit curious who Sungyeol was texting though.

After some time, Hoya sleeps, and before he knows it, it’s time to wake up. He finds the choding in the kitchen, his phone out, and texting as he sips on coffee.

“Are you texting the same person from last night?” Hoya asks and wonders for just a second if he’s being too nosy.

“Ah, no, I was texting my younger brother last night, texting my mother right now…”, Sungyeol looks up and gives Hoya his infamous gummy smile. And Hoya has no choice but to think that Sungyeol really is just a kid. And so was he.

And so, Hoya notices that Sungyeol texts his brother just before he sleeps, and texts his mother when he wakes…it was cute. He could see that it was Sungyeol’s way of persevering. Just like how he would trace his family’s faces in his mind, Sungyeol would text them.

Hoya concludes that Sungyeol is still a child at heart. A child who yearns for the warmth only a real family can bring. And, as Hoya reflects back onto himself, he realises he’s one too.

A bit after their debut, Hoya notices that Sungyeol’s amount of texting has increased, especially at night. The routine that Hoya was so used to had morphed into some kind of text war or something along those lines.

So he decides to ask one night as they all laid in their individual beds, “Sungyeol, are you dating?”

“Eh?” Sungyeol gives Hoya a surprised whisper, “wh-why would you ask that?”

“It’s just…you’ve been texting more than usual lately…so I was wondering if you were texting someone other than your mother and brother.”

Sungyeol’s cheerful laugh rings through Hoya’s ears, “ah, nothing, nothing, just a friend.”

“Hm”, Hoya smiles knowingly before he closes his eyes and goes to sleep.

Not even a couple of months later, Hoya’s eyes flicker open and widen when he hears soft giggles mixed in with his hip hop music.

“Sungyeolie?” Hoya asks, just a bit hesitant, still unsure whether the giggle belonged to Sungyeol or not.

“Ah? You’re not sleeping yet?” Sungyeol asks. Hoya could hear see all the rainbows and cheerfulness in the other’s voice.

“No thanks to you”, Hoya mumbles, he shakes his head and then asks, “did you just giggle?”

“Oh!? I might have, sorry, I’m disturbing you again?” Sungyeol sticks his head over and gives Hoya a sheepish smile, but he knows the other can’t see it in the dark anyway.

“So…are you dating?” Hoya asks, curious for the sake of it.

Sungyeol laughs again, and Hoya can picture the other’s gummy smile, “no, no, I just read something absurd, that’s all”, Sungyeol denies and then explains.

Their conversation dies down and they both go back to sleep.

The next time Hoya got curious was when he had just finished showering and found Sungyeol kneeling over the spare bottom bunk in their room, he noticed that the other’s ears had turned an unusual shade of red. Interested, he quietly sneaked behind the other and looked over Sungyeol’s head and at the phone the other was holding only to see a short and succinct message sent from Myungsoo.

_Myungsoo:_

_I love you. Please only be mine._

Hoya raised an eyebrow. He didn’t quite know what to make of it, so he asked the first question he could think of, “Sungyeolie, are you dating _now_?”

Sungyeol slowly turns his head around and Hoya couldn’t help but smile and poke the other’s cheeks when he sees the flushed face and the teary eyes hidden by the brightness of Sungyeol’s smile that clearly spelt out the ‘yes, I am dating now’ Hoya had been looking for.

**Sungyeol**

When Sungyeol meets the already chosen members of Woolim’s new boy group for the first time, he feels a rock sink in his stomach. And when someone smiles at him, he smiled back and clutched on. When he was shown the room he would be sharing with two other members, Sungyeol didn’t really know what to think, he wondered if he’d be able to adjust to the member’s sleeping habits, and whether he’d be able to survive without going crazy.

Sungyeol treads along the days carefully and watches as the pages of the calendar flips.

Filming for the sitcom has finished, and Sungyeol feels both sad and happy at the same time. As he chose earrings for his now quite bare ears, he wonders if he’ll be able to get use to wearing them again after not wearing them for so long. When he pushes the first one through his ear lobe, the hesitance disappears, he didn’t even need to get use to it, because it’s a part of him.

Sungyeol can feel Myungsoo’s eyes on him, and he ponders over if he should look at the other in the eye. But he’s just a bit afraid that if he looks, he’ll never be able to look away again, and so he gazes over them. He thinks he’s safe until the shorter grabs his wrists and then slide his hand down to intertwine their fingers together. Without consciously knowing, Sungyeol looks at the hands joined together by the fingers and then lift his head up too look at Myungsoo and he looks into those eyes.

Myungsoo smiles.

And Sungyeol wonders if it would be okay for him to never look away again. A flood of ‘what ifs’ break into his mind. Sungyeol watches as Myungsoo’s smile turns into a laugh, and Sungyeol blinks innocently, a bit lost at what the other was laughing at.

So he asks, “what are you laughing at?”

“Hm?” Myungsoo is still smiling at the older, “just being next to you makes me smile.”

“And…”, Sungyeol scrunches his nose, “looking at my face makes you laugh?”

Myungsoo shakes his head, “no, looking at your face makes me want to kiss you.”

And Sungyeol felt offended, he huffed and crossed his arms, “oh, and what, when you’re not looking at my face, you don’t want to kiss me? Is that it!?”

“More like I need to kiss you?” Myungsoo smiles.

Sungyeol scrunches his nose and pouts at the other, giving up. He always gave up in the end and goes along with whatever Myungsoo says, does or wants. It’s become a habit by now. And frankly, they really don’t argue at all. Just playful banter every now and then.

Closing his eyes, Sungyeol leans in and pecks Myungsoo on the lips, he opens his eyes and can’t help but smile back at the smiling even brighter Myungsoo, “are you that happy?” Sungyeol raises an eyebrow in mild disbelief.

“I wanted to be the one kissing you though”, Myungsoo leans forward and breathes lightly over Sungyeol’s plump red lips, “that would make me even happier.”

“Ah, whatever”, Sungyeol closes his eyes again and waits to feel Myungsoo’s lips against his, and when he does, that was when the fact sank in - that he really has gone accustomed to Myungsoo’s action, he had grown use to it over time. And as he holds onto Myungsoo’s hand tightly, he wonders if he’d be able to live well without the other’s lips pressed against his.

**Myungsoo**

Myungsoo watches as Sungyeol gives his attention to their puppies. He watches as Sungyeol lets them sleep in his lap and he wonders when the last time he laid his head on Sungyeol’s lap was. Myungsoo pouts as he sips on he continues eating his lunch. He watches as Sungyeol takes a number of pictures with the puppies, and he tries to remember when the last time he took a picture with just Sungyeol was. And he remembers it was the same time as when he last changed the background to his phone. He watches as Sungyeol press his luscious red lips to the puppy, and he doesn’t even bother to ask himself when the last time Sungyeol had pecked him on the lips was. He knows that the last time he had pecked Sungyeol on the lips were this morning. The thought of immediately grabbing the puppy out of Sungyeol’s hands now sounded appealing. And then he would press his lips against the puppy’s lips and it’ll be like he had shared an indirect kiss with Sungyeol.

And then Myungsoo realises that it would just be simpler to grab Sungyeol’s collar, pull him up and demand for Sungyeol to give him a chaste kiss.

But Myungsoo doesn’t do that.

He sulks and watches Sungyeol do all these things without him.

Myungsoo denies that he’s jealous when his members send him quirked eyebrows and muffled giggles.

He wasn’t so shallow that he would be jealous of three puppies. It was like that case with Sungyeol and his love for coffee, Myungsoo was in no way jealous of coffee in any sense. After all, he liked coffee too. But he loves Sungyeol.

Sungyeol looks up at Myungsoo and from the other’s expression, he immediately knows what the other is thinking. Sungyeol carries his dear puppy with him in his arms and walks towards Myungsoo.

Myungsoo smiles as Sungyeol bends forward and presses his lips on his cheeks.

“Myungsoo, stop looking at our puppies like you want to eat them for dinner or something”, Sungyeol sort of scolds Myungsoo.

“I’m not”, Myungsoo smiles at Sungyeol.

Sungyeol frowns but drops it, he takes a seat next to Myungsoo and places his head on the other’s shoulder, “you know that you’re irreplaceable to me, right?”

“I know”, Myungsoo nods and immediately feels light hearted.

But when Myungsoo comes back from filming one day to find Sungyeol in his bed, he is beyond surprised. What greets his eyes is Sungyeol sleeping on his side, Myungsoo raises an eyebrow at this. From what he knew, the choding disliked not sleeping on his back. But what really shocked Myungsoo was that Sungyeol was wearing one of his plaid shirts.

Sungyeol was smiling and wearing one of his plaid shirts. Sungyeol was smiling, wearing one of his plaid shirts and mumbling his name in his sleep.

And to Myungsoo, this was probably one of the times in which he had no power to deny that he was jealous of something. He shot a glare at his beloved plaid shirt. He didn’t like the way Sungyeol was wearing it, as though he were using it as something to replace him. And it didn’t help that Sungyeol was miraculously sleep talking, whilst wearing that shirt! And calling out his name nonetheless.

Myungsoo, with awed eyes gently caressed the other’s cheek and watched as Sungyeol stirred and then blinked his eyes open.

“Oh, Myungsoo”, Sungyeol yawned and scooted over to make space for Myungsoo to lie in, “welcome back.”

“Sungyeolie”, Myungsoo scowls, “take that shirt off now.”

“Eh?” Sungyeol who is gradually becoming more awake pouts, “can’t I wear it for a bit longer?”

“No”, Myungsoo shakes his head as he climbs onto his bed and attempts to take his plaid shirt off Sungyeol and then dispose of it.

“Why?” Sungyeol with great effort tries to keep Myungsoo’s plaid shirt on.

“Don’t like it”, Myungsoo mumbles loud enough for Sungyeol to hear as the two of them struggle.

“But I like it”, Sungyeol manages to twist himself out of Myungsoo’s grasp and then he hugs his body tight and pouts at the other, “I like the smell, let me wear it longer you meanie!”

“That’s exactly what I don’t like about it!” Myungsoo pulls Sungyeol forward and then pins him onto the bed, “you already have me, you don’t need this plaid shirt!”

“Oh”, Sungyeol smiles at the displeased Myungsoo, “Myungsoo dearest, are you jealous of your own shirt?”

“Yes!” Myungsoo cries impatiently, all the pent up jealousy just had to be released right then, “now take it off so that we can go to sleep peacefully.”

“Okay”, Sungyeol chirps, “I’ll take it off when you stop pinning me down, though I’m sure you like seeing me like this.”

They stare at each other for a bit before they both break into a fit of laughter.

**Sungjong**

“So I want to do something fun and exciting for the fans to watch for my solo stage”, Sungjong explained to the dishes he was washing, knowing that it was impossible for them to respond to him, “you know, there’s this one particular song I really, really want to dance to!”

“Sungyeolie said something like that too”, a voice interrupted Sungjong and his conversation with the dirty dishes.

Sungjong turned around to see a yawning Myungsoo who opened the fridge and then closed it again when he found nothing appetising to snack on. Not that he was allowed to.

“Oh, Myungsoo-hyung, welcome back”, Sungjong nodded before going back to his dishes, “did Sungyeolie-hyung say he wanted to do something glamorous too?” and Sungjong couldn’t help but smile at that thought, even their thoughts clicked well together.

“Mm”, Myungsoo acknowledged as he scratched the side of his head, leaning against the fridge.

“Perhaps the two of us could do it together!” Sungjong looked at the ceiling with a huge smile, “yeah! We could! It’s a duet after all!”

“Hm?” Myungsoo sniffled, not really catching what Sungjong just blabbered out.

“Thanks hyung, I’ll go talk to the managers about it and then let Sungyeolie-hyung know!” Sungjong felt his heart flutter at the thought of performing something so extravagant. He was hyped.

“Ok…”, Myungsoo nodded, “I’m sure he’ll be happy to know.”

So after the dishes, Sungjong scrambled to talk to the managers about his ideas. When he got the okay, he was so excited, he put the song on repeat and went to bed listening to the one song.

The next morning, Sungjong got up with sparkling eyes, he greeted his favourite hyung – Hoya (who was still sleeping), and then barged into the room shared by Dongwoo, Sungyeol and Myungsoo. Sungjong happily jumped on top of Sungyeol and woke the choding up in the process.

“Urgh, Mingsoo, what are you doing?” Sungyeol complained and rubbed his eyes.

Sungjong frowned, “I’m not your loverboy”, Sungjong took the chance to poke at his hyung’s cheeks, “hyung, wake up, I have good news for you!”

“Oh, oh, Sungjongie”, Sungyeol realised his mistake and scooted over so that Sungjong could lie down beside him, “so why are you here so early? It’s not time to wake up…”, Sungyeol yawned and then closed his eyes again, wanting to go back to sleep.

“Hyung!” Sungjong pressed Sungyeol’s cheeks with his palms, watching as Sungyeol attempted to swat his hands away.

“Sungjongie, your hands are cold, get them off me.”

Sungjong made himself comfortable beside Sungyeol and made sure the other was well awake whilst he talked, “hyung, our managers have decided that we’re going to perform our solo stages together.”

Sungyeol blinked at those words and then immediately turned his head to look at Sungjong, his eyes flashing with agreeableness, “really? What do you want to do? Something fun, exciting, something that will have our Inspirits screaming for more!”

Chuckling, Sungjong just knew that he was a bit too compatible with Sungyeol, their thoughts were the same, if not, too similar.

“As for that, it’s already been decided!” Sungjong pinched the older one’s nose, knowing that he’d be able to get away with it.

“Yah! I already said your hand was cold”, Sungyeol hissed before he reverted back to a smile, waiting for Sungjong to tell him what performance they’d be doing for the Second Invasion Concert.

“Troublemaker. We’re doing Troublemaker’s Troublemaker”, Sungjong smiled and watched as Sungyeol’s eyes light up. Seems like Sungyeol had wanted to do it too. Or had, at least, thought about it, “it’s a fantastic idea right?”

“Yeah!” Sungyeol smiled and then it dropped, “wait hold on…you are going to be HyunA-sunbae right? And I’m going to be Hyunseung-sunbae?”

Sungjong scoffed and then slapped his cold hand on Sungyeol’s cheek lightly again, “hyung, hyung, hyung, it’s been decided that you’d look stunning as HyunA-sunbae, with your nice thighs and what not.”

“Excuse me?” Sungyeol choked out.

“Hyung has a face fitting to be a girl too”, Sungjong stifled a laugh as he once again touches Sungyeol’s face with his cold hands.

“Argh!” Sungyeol pouts and then pushes and kicks Sungjong off his bed. Feeling just a little happier when Sungjong lands on the floor with a yelp, he crosses his arms and states clearly, “I’m not doing this.”

Sungjong rolls his eyes. The other doesn’t have a choice and he knows it, at the very least, he can help his hyung enjoy the performance. He crawls back onto the bed, intending to do more coercing.

“Hyung, you have to”, Sungjong states bluntly and then realises perhaps he shouldn’t have said that, it would make the other feel even more upset.

“I can’t do it! I’m going to embarrass HyunA-sunbae!” Sungyeol covers his face with his hands.

Sungjong looks at the state his hyung is in and wants to laugh at the other, just because it was kind of cute.

“With enough practice, you’ll be fine!” Sungjong reassures, “plus, you can take this as a timid revenge against your beloved Myungsoo-hyung who hooked up with some girl in that drama he’s filming!”

Sungyeol takes his hands away from his face and looks at Sungjong with teary eyes, “are you insinuating that Mingsoo is cheating on me?”

“No?” Sungjong answered hesitantly.

“And TIMID?” Sungyeol scrunches his nose, “if I do it well, it won’t be timid.”

“Hyung, are you insinuating that Myungsoo-hyung is cheating on you?” Sungjong asks back, just a bit taken aback at how fast Sungyeol’s thoughts had changed.

“No?” Sungyeol blinked innocently, “no one else will want him anyway, he’s a prat.”

“Yup, a prat with a choding, genius”, Sungjong rolled his eyes. “Plus, ever since you’ve moved bedrooms, we haven’t talked much”, Sungjong jabs the other’s hips, “where’s all our heartfelt deep talks gone to?”

“You have Hoya?” Sungyeol smiled a little, hoping it would cover the guilt in his tone.

“I do, but it’s not the same when you’re not around too, you know?” Sungjong sighed, “ah, if only Myungsoo-hyung didn’t hog all your free time.”

Sungyeol scoffs, “what are you? Some clingy dongsaeng that can’t live without talking back to his hyung for a day?”

Sungjong doesn’t say anything, because it was a question that didn’t need to be answered.

“You know, we could always say that our motivation to do Troublemaker stemmed from me wanting to ‘become’ manlier since I’m of age…”, Sungjong smiled, “and you, being the most wonderful hyung, wanted to show this side of me to the Inspirits, so we performed Troublemaker?”

“Ah”, Sungyeol nodded and then frowned, “wait, does that mean I want to show Inspirit my cross-dressing side?”

“Yeah? You want to show them your femininity”

“Go die.”

“After you.”

So Sungjong (and Sungyeol) find great entertainment in the little sulking expressions Myungsoo makes when the two of them go off to practice the Troublemaker dance together. Sungjong deliberately asks Sungyeol if he wants to kiss for real for the performance in front of Myungsoo and silently laughs at the horrified expression on Myungsoo’s face. But he earns himself a smack from Sungyeol for even suggesting so. But Sungjong is satisfied, all he wanted was to remember the old times and have some fun with his hyung who had moved bedrooms.

 


	3. Piercings

**Title:** Piercings  
**Type:** Oneshot  
**Characters:** Myungsoo, Sungyeol  
**Pairing:** Myungsoo/Sungyeol  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Warnings:** light smut  
**Length:** ~1.200  
**Prompt:** from myungyeol_love challenge: #23 - Reasons  
**A/N:** Saw the prompt and then Sungyeol’s piercings and it just came together~ xD

Sungyeol moaned into his and Myungsoo’s kiss as he climaxed. Their lips detached and Myungsoo attached his lips along Sungyeol’s jaw, kissing lightly. When Myungsoo reached Sungyeol’s ear, he stopped.

“Myung?” Sungyeol asked, rolling his hips, wondering why Myungsoo had stopped moving.

With a free hand, Myungsoo swept away the hair that was plastered with sweat on Sungyeol’s forehead. He then moved his head so that their foreheads were touching, Myungsoo breathed slowly and deep. His breath tingled Sungyeol’s lips, “Sungyeolie”, he murmured.

“Mm?” Sungyeol looked into Myungsoo’s eyes, wondering if it would be ok for him to tilt his head a bit, just to feel their lips brush against each other. But instead he stays put. His breathing steadies itself and it was only then that he realised that Myungsoo’s fingers were playing with the piercings on his left ear.

Without looking away from Sungyeol’s eyes, Myungsoo then moved his left hand so that it was brushing against Sungyeol’s right ear. The movement caused Myungsoo to shift just a tiny bit, his member moving with him and rubbing against Sungyeol’s walls.

Moaning lightly, Sungyeol arched his back, pushing his hips forward, his lips quivering as his fingers balled into fists, gripping on to the bed sheets. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips onto Myungsoo’s lips.

Kissing back, Myungsoo’s fingers continued to play with Sungyeol’s earrings, “are you turning into a rebel?” Myungsoo asked quietly when he disconnected their kiss, he bent over, smiling when Sungyeol moaned again and then sucked on Sungyeol’s right ear lobe.

“N-no”, Sungyeol answered, “why?”

“Then why so many piercings?” Myungsoo asked, “I wanted to ask you earlier, but it slipped my mind.”

Sungyeol chuckled, “because it looks cool?”

Myungsoo raised an eyebrow and then pressed his forehead onto Sungyeol’s one again, “you look like a kid who had discovered something new and trendy, but then got so addicted to it to the point where it looks like you’ve got an ugly addiction.”

“It’s ugly?” Sungyeol pouted, looking away from Myungsoo, “but you said that my piercings turned you on~ Does that mean ugly things turn you on!?” Sungyeol stated, horrified at the thought that Myungsoo truly thinks that he’s well…ugly.

Myungsoo rolled his eyes, “I like pretty, cute and sexy things, everything that you are, Sungyeolie”, he pecked Sungyeol’s lips and then continued talking, “I just feel that those piercings”, he runs his fingers across the piercings that decorated the curve of Sungyeol’s left ear, “they’re a bit too much, no?”

“Really, is it?” Sungyeol looks back into Myungsoo’s eyes, “maybe it is…”

“It is”, Myungsoo smiled, “your ear is going to die if you have so much.”

“It’s okay”, Sungyeol smiles back, “let me wear them for a little longer, please?”

Myungsoo’s smile disappears, “why?”

“I like it there”, Sungyeol blinks, “the weight of the piercings.”

“I don’t understand…why?” Myungsoo asks again, confused.

“Hm?” Sungyeol prompts for Myungsoo to express what he didn’t understand, he lifts a hand and brushes Myungsoo’s bangs aside.

“Why you’d decorate – mar your beautiful ear like that”, Myungsoo sighs and closes his eyes.

“I have my reasons”, Sungyeol stated, closing his eyes as well.

Myungsoo rubs his nose with Sungyeol’s and then lifts his head away and demands, “then tell me.”

Sungyeol lifts his legs and wraps them around Myungsoo’s waist, he giggles a little when he feels Myungsoo move inside of him. His arm go up to wrap around Myungsoo’s neck and pulls the other down so that he can whisper into Myungsoo’s ear, “There are 6 piercings right? They represent people I want to tell the public that I want to treasure.”

Myungsoo frowned and pulled back a little again, “why don’t you just separate them so that your left ear isn’t carrying all the weight – the burden?”

Giggling again, Sungyeol catches one of Myungsoo’s hands and leads it to cover his chest, “can you feel it?” Sungyeol blinks slowly, “the beat of my heart”, Sungyeol watches as Myungsoo’s frown slowly smoothes out, “is my left ear not closer to my heart than my right ear?”

“Who are they?” Myungsoo asks, his tone slightly unhappy and bitter, “someone had marred you without them even knowing”, Myungsoo moves his hands back to fondle Sungyeol’s piercings. It was just like Sungyeol to have such meaningful thoughts, and if he had never asked, he would’ve never had known that Sungyeol was even having such thoughts. It was cute, and extremely charming.

“Ah~ Don’t be like that~” Sungyeol whined, pressing his lips up tenderly against Myungsoo’s.

“Do I know them?” Myungsoo asks, curiosity really sinking in as he kept wondering just who Sungyeol wanted to carry around close to his heart, in public. He wondered if he were one, or possible all 6 of the piercings.

“Yeah, you know them all”, Sungyeol smiled brightly and then started listing off the names, “Sunggyu-hyung, Dongwoo-hyung, Woohyun-hyung, Howon, Sungjongie and CEO-nim!”

“What?” Myungsoo said so quietly, he felt as though if he spoke any louder his heart really, really will just shatter.

Sungyeol continued smiling.

“Where am I?” Myungsoo asked as though he had just been kicked aside like a pitiful puppy.

“Huh?” Sungyeol raised an eyebrow at Myungsoo, “aren’t you in me?” He pushed his hips up for emphasis, “I can clearly feel you in me, so why are you looking at me like that?”

Myungsoo opened his mouth to say something, but ended up closing it without saying anything. He shrugged Sungyeol’s arms off and then pinned them above the older one’s head, “Sungyeolie, you really are too much”, Myungsoo stated with furrowed brows and then pulled his length out of Sungyeol, “how can you only think about me, want me to be close to you when we’re like this?”

“Eh?” Sungyeol stared at the other, stunned, and even more so when Myungsoo sighed and let go of his hands and moved away from him to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to take you to get another piercing on your left ear”, Myungsoo stated, his back to Sungyeol.

“Eh? Why?” Sungyeol sat up and pouted, “I don’t want another one.”

“You have all of your INFINITE members there except me, so where am I?” Myungsoo turns back and looks disappointedly at Sungyeol.

Sungyeol looked back at Myungsoo with his round doe like eyes, a little lost, “you’re in me?” Sungyeol frowned and said hesitantly, because, didn’t he already say that before? Does Myungsoo have selective hearing or something?”

Myungsoo continued looking at Sungyeol sceptically, he watched as Sungyeol slowly made his way towards him, his tried to avoid looking at Sungyeol’s milky skin, pert nipples and those long legs, it made him want to jump the other even more. He let Sungyeol take one of his hands and hold it gently. He shivered when Sungyeol kissed his fingertips lightly, like petals dancing in a soft breeze.

Sungyeol looked up into Myungsoo’s eyes and pleaded, “because you’re in my heart, I don’t want to place you outside of it, so you won’t force me, right?”

Hearing those words, Myungsoo’s lips melted immediately to a goofy looking smile, he pushed Sungyeol back into the bed and claimed the other’s lips once more.


	4. Twinkle

**Title:** Twinkle  
**Type:** Oneshot  
**Characters:** Infinite, TaeTiSeo  
**Pairing:** Myungsoo/Sungyeol  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** none  
**Length:** ~3,001  
**Prompt:** from myungyeol_love challenge: #39 - Cheat  
**A/N:** Because it fits perfectly.

“Seriously! How many times do I have to say this!?” Sunggyu has his arms crossed as he talks to both Myungsoo and Sungyeol.

Myungsoo gulps. The height difference had no affect on Sunggyu’s menacing aura.

Sungyeol lowers his head and blinks back his thoughts.

“It’s no longer okay for the both of you to walk around in broad daylight on your little date and have coffee together whilst talking about how the sun outside is lifting your spirits and what not!” Sunggyu lectures loudly. He knows that the other members were listening in from their rooms, but it was okay, it wasn’t the first time he had to lecture the MyungYeol couple on behaviour.

“Does that mean we can go at night?” Sungyeol brings his head up and looks at Sunggyu with puppy eyes.

Sunggyu swallows, he could see that Sungyeol was holding back his tears, and he was just about to fall for Sungyeol when he shakes his head, slaps himself to clear his mind, “no”, he states firmly, squashing all of Sungyeol’s hopes. The leader watches as Sungyeol lowers his head and sniff. He feels his heart squirm uncomfortable. Tears always were his weakness, and it did not help that Sungyeol was always so sensitive.

“Really”, Sunggyu grabs the laptop on the kitchen bench and once again shows his two dongsaengs the fan taken pictures of them at their ‘little coffee date’, “you guys didn’t go just once, you went twice, and gosh, these were only the times in which fans caught the both of you red handed.”

Myungsoo gulps again.

“The two of you have been sneaking of more than twice have you not?” Sunggyu glares.

“But it just looks like two best friends going out for coffee”, Myungsoo points, “from the rest of the world’s point of view.”

“Oh~ Yes”, Sunggyu says sarcastically, “and that’s why Sungyeolie’s boyfriend is carrying all the shopping bags?”

“Ah~” Sungyeol frowns, “but don’t they just look like gifts from fans? Myungsoo’s more popular anyway.”

“But you’re better looking”, Myungsoo whispers to Sungyeol with a smile.

Sungyeol blushes and reaches to hold Myungsoo’s hand shyly (he tells Myungsoo later to stop saying things like that, but Myungsoo just brushes those words aside.)

Sunggyu raises an eyebrow, “fans don’t go around carrying gifts for their beloved idols unless they know they’re going to bump into them”, Sunggyu pokes at both of the taller boys’ forehead, “there is no way the fans could have known that the two of you were going to roam the streets shopping and then going to buy coffee.”

“But hyung –” Myungsoo frowned when he was interrupted.

“No buts, even if you say that you were holding all the bags because Sungyeolie was busy on the phone, there will be people out there who read between the lines, in this case, read between the photos”, Sunggyu places the laptop aside and crosses his arms once more, “Inspirits aren’t stupid, they pick up on things quickly, so from now, I’m going to suspend public MyungYeol affection for an indefinite amount of time.”

“Hyung~” the boys whined.

“I’ll talk to CEO-nim about when we should lift it”, Sunggyu wanted to see their expressions, but the both of them both had their heads lowered, “I’m sure the length of time will depend on your behaviour.”

Not long after, Sungyeol hurts his shoulder and arms.

The members fuss over him, and Sunggyu lectures him again. And Sungyeol is happy when Sunggyu hit him on the head and then carefully hugs him, calling him an idiot. He blinks away his tears.

Sunggyu watches him (them) like a hawk, and Sungyeol feels awkward. Perhaps he’s standing next to Myungsoo too much, but that was their formation? Perhaps he had glanced one too many times at Myungsoo and Sunggyu had seen it?

And Sungyeol realises that Sunggyu had seen those glances, the leader reminds him to “watch where your eyes focus on”, when they’re away from the eyes of the public, Myungsoo sitting quietly beside Sungyeol, gently placing kisses on Sungyeol’s bandaged wrists.

“Don’t move your arms too much!” Sunggyu points at Sungyeol and says sternly before he turns away to get on with other business. Sungyeol looks over to Myungsoo and smiles sheepishly.

“Does it still hurt a lot?” Myungsoo asks, smiling back

“Just a bit”, Sungyeol murmurs, closing his eyes as Myungsoo leaned in to take his lips.

When they’re back in their dorms, Woohyun, Sungjong and Sungyeol somehow found the time to watch music shows.

“TaeTiSeo!” Sungyeol cries happily as he runs closer to the TV, Woohyun and Sungjong following closely behind, “Taeyeon!”

The music for Twinkle starts and the three of them quickly get into position, their limbs flailing around (in synch) as they follow their sunbaenim’s music. Before they even got half way through the song, the TV was suddenly closed and an infuriated Sunggyu hits all three of them on the head.

“Choding!” Sunggyu says immediately after hitting them all, his eyes are boring into Sungyeol’s head, “what did I say about not moving your arms excessively?”

Sungyeol does not answer.

Sunggyu turns to Sungjong and Woohyun, “as members, should you both have not looked out for Sungyeolie and restrained him from fanboying over his favourite idol?”

Woohyun and Sungjong both nodded. They couldn’t help it if they were just as excited. The song is catchy after all.

When Myungsoo gets out of the shower and walks into the silent living room, Sunggyu hits him on the head too and hisses, “take care of your boyfriend.”

Myungsoo is worried and immediately scurries off to find what sort of trouble Sungyeol had gotten into this time. He finds Sungyeol lying in his bed, flipping through TaeTiSeo’s album for the gazillionth time.

“Still looking at Taeyeon-sunbaenim?” Myungsoo asks

“Of course”, Sungyeol mutters, smiling giddily at the photobook, “she’s gorgeous.”

Myungsoo hold back his tongue and doesn’t voice out his thoughts that he found Sungyeol to be more gorgeous. Getting into another childish battle about looks was not on his agenda for the day. And no matter what he says, it was a topic Sungyeol would not give in to him, brushing it off and saying that Myungsoo’s personal thoughts on physical appearance is too biased to him. He tries to slip into the bed next to Sungyeol but Sungyeol screams softly, frightening Myungsoo just a little.

“Myungsoo!” Sungyeol looks at Myungsoo with wide eyes, his hands holding tightly onto the photobook, “be careful, don’t sit on my albums!”

When Myungsoo’s eyes land on the photobook Sungyeol was holding, he sees the bandages around the other’s hands and his heart tugs painfully. He nods and then carefully slips in next to Sungyeol. Myungsoo turns his head so that he’s staring at Sungyeol. He watches Sungyeol and he smiles.

Sungyeol takes his eyes away from the photobook and looks at Myungsoo and giggles, “she really is beautiful, isn’t she?”

“Hm?” Myungsoo keeps on staring at Sungyeol, “yeah, the most beautiful.”

“I know!” Sungyeol says happily and turns back to the photobook.

Myungsoo wriggles one of his hands under the covers so that he can wrap it around Sungyeol’s waist and pull himself closer to the other. He takes a whiff of Sungyeol’s scent and sighs contently, his eyes slowly closing.

“Myungsoo?” Sungyeol calls, noticing that the younger was sleeping on him, “you can’t sleep here, you’re going to move in your sleep and you might aggravate my injuries”, Sungyeol explains, nudging Myungsoo.

“Just a bit longer, I want to touch you more”, Myungsoo says quietly, his hands tightening around Sungyeol’s waist.

“That sounds dirty, Myungsoo”, Sungyeol laughed softly.

On the day of their first comeback performance, they’re sitting in their waiting room, all 7 of them gathered around one tiny table and playing card games.

“Ah, Myungsoo, since when did you get so good at card games?” Sungyeol pouts, watching as Myungsoo won the round again (Sungyeol asks later and Myungsoo tells him it’s because he could see most of the members’ cards by looking at the reflection from the mirror. Sungyeol then brands him as a cheater and pokes the shorter one’s forehead. He gets a cheeky laughter in return.)

Myungsoo smiles at Sungyeol and pulls the other in for a kiss, ignoring all the members who rolled their eyes at them.

Suddenly, Sungyeol disconnects their kiss and jumps up from his seat. Sunggyu is looking at him with worry, probably wondering if his arm started hurting again.

“I want to get my album signed!” Sungyeol smiles cheerfully and bounces off to grab his albums, “let’s go greet TaeTiSeo-sunbaenim now!” Sungyeol beams at his members, “please? Please? Please?~”

“I’ll come with you if the others don’t want to”, Myungsoo wraps his arms around Sungyeol’s neck, pulling the other into a back hug.

The others all roll their eyes, knowing that Myungsoo was keeping an eye on fanboying Sungyeol.

With Sunggyu leading, Infinite makes their way out of their waiting room and knocks politely on the doors of all the other waiting rooms, handing out signed versions of their own album.

Sunggyu sends a look at Myungsoo and the younger sighs, immediately taking his hands off of Sungyeol. But his hands naturally go back and touch the other every now and then, whenever Sunggyu wasn’t looking. Apparently public was anyone outside of Infinite.

They reached TaeTiSeo’s waiting room last. Sunggyu shot another look at the MyungYeol couple who was still touchy touchy with each other. As soon as they noticed Sunggyu’s look, they stood straight and restrained themselves.

The waiting room for TaeTiSeo was small, a suitable size for the 3 member subunit. They exchanged greetings and albums. Sungyeol excitedly went up and handed his own album, asking for autographs. He ignored Woohyun who was telling Dongwoo that Sungyeol undoubtedly, was way too excited as he confessed his admiration for TaeTiSeo – namely Taeyeon, his long term bias.

Sungyeol’s eyes glimmered with tears when his idols added a heart next to his name.

The subunit giggled at his happiness, glad that such a small action was able to have someone nearly tear up from happiness.

Myungsoo pulled Sungyeol back and gently tabbed Sungyeol’s eyes, soaking up the tears with tissue, “always such a cry baby”, Myungsoo muttered, a fond smile on his lips, “you’re trembling, do you want me to hold your treasure for you so you don’t drop it?”

Sungyeol shakes his head, holding tighter to his newly autographed album. He turns back to his idols and asks, “can we shake hands?”

“Sungyeol”, Sunggyu warns and Sungyeol’s smile immediately drops and his hand retreats.

TaeTiSeo smiles and end up shaking all the Infinite members’ hands.

“Do you want to take a picture?” Taeyeon asks Sungyeol, already pulling him over, “you and I?”

Sungyeol is flustered, embarrassed as everyone else in the room smiles at them.

“How tall are you?” Taeyeon asks, looking up at Sungyeol, “it would be nice if you could give me some height”, she laughs before smiling at the smartphone Sungjong was holding.

“Th-thank-you, for taking a photo with me”, Sungyeol stammers out with nervousness.

“It’s alright”, Taeyeon smiles, “anytime for a cutie like you.” She looks back at the other two members who smile back and pose for a TaeTiSeo group photo.

“Wh-what?” Myungsoo chokes out.

And Sunggyu sends him another glare.

Taeyeon looks at Myungsoo and smiles, “don’t you think Sungyeolie is a total cutie? If I could, I would kidnap him and keep him in my pocket.”

Myungsoo holds onto Hoya for support as Taeyeon’s words rang through his head over and over. She did not just address Sungyeol informally. No she did, but only because Sungyeol is a fan. She isn’t interested in him though. Right? Right? He comes back to his senses when Hoya hits him on the head gently.

After the M!Countdown performance, Infinite tiredly made their way home. Myungsoo had immediately dragged his still giggling boyfriend into their room. He watched as the taller one carefully placed the personally signed album into his ‘box of treasures’. He had to watch Sungyeol stare at the multiple pictures Sungjong had taken for him on his phone, pictures of him and TaeTiSeo, pictures of him and Taeyeon.

Myungsoo pouted. He wrapped his arms around Sungyeol’s waist and rested his chin on the other’s shoulder. Sungyeol holds onto Myungsoo’s hands lightly. Myungsoo could tell that Sungyeol was still beaming.

“Happy today?” Myungsoo asks.

“Yeah”, came the expected reply from Sungyeol, “I still feel drained though.”

Myungsoo thinks that Sungyeol had wasted unnecessary energy into fanboying over his idols. It was cute, but maybe not when Sungyeol hasn’t fully recovered yet, and when they all slept such little hours, and not especially when Taeyeon was going around being especially nice and killing Sungyeol even more with her words.

“Sungyeol, you really are beautiful”, Myungsoo whispers as he places soft kisses on the other’s jaw line, “such a cutie indeed.”

Wrinkling his nose, Sungyeol escapes Myungsoo’s embrace and looks at the other with a sad expression, “Myungsoo, really, why do you keep saying such things.”

“Because you are”, Myungsoo leans in and wraps the other in his arms again, lips ending up finding another pair of lips.

“I don’t like it though”, Sungyeol mumbles as he falls back so that he’s lying on his bed.

“You sure seemed like you enjoyed it when Taeyeon-sunbaenim called you cute”, Myungsoo mumbles back, his lips fleetingly placing kisses over Sungyeol’s face.

“That’s because sunbaenim is sunbaenim, but it is a bit embarrassing to have someone cuter than you to call you cute”, Sungyeol sighs, pouting his lips, asking Myungsoo to kiss him there.

Myungsoo presses against Sungyeol’s lips, he admits that Taeyeon does have charm, he remembers Sungyeol telling him that he loved her voice the most when they first discussed idols they admired.

“So what is it about me that makes you dislike me complimenting you?” Myungsoo asks, one of his hands under Sungyeol’s shirt and rubbing circles on his hips, his other hand cupping Sungyeol’s cheek, his thumb slowly caressing soft skin.

Sungyeol wondered if he should tell the other. It wasn’t an awfully embarrassing reasoning, it was just, he felt like he shouldn’t need to tell Myungsoo this. But if he doesn’t know…then perhaps he should tell after all?

“I do like compliments from you”, Sungyeol says, “it’s just you never go beyond calling me beautiful.”

Myungsoo stared at Sungyeol and then smiled, his baby is adorable after all.

Sungyeol frowns, “Like, um, specificity? I tell you all the time, that I like your fingers when –”

“When they’re pressed inside of you?” Myungsoo jokes, watching as Sungyeol look at him horrified.

“Yes well, there is that”, Sungyeol whispers and then shakes his head, “but what I wanted to say is that I like your fingers a lot when they’re focused on fixing my hair. I really like that look of concentration, your eyes are so soft, and your lips that curl up slowly when the result is more than satisfactory.”

“Hm~” Myungsoo is still smiling as he nods, knowing that Sungyeol does tell him things like that a lot.

“It feels better than me just telling you straight out that you’re good looking right?” Sungyeol smiled, tilting his head a bit so that their noses nudged.

“You’re good looking too”, Myungsoo automatically says. He did agree with Sungyeol’s words, but everything Sungyeol did was beautiful, if he had to point them all out, he’d never stop talking!

“You don’t have to tell me everything, just whatever you want, feel like telling me”, Sungyeol stated as though he had read Myungsoo’s mind.

“So if your beloved Taeyeon told you that she likes the way your eyes light up and tear just the tiniest bit when you have a cup of coffee in your hands, would you feel the same giddy feeling you feel with me?” Myungsoo wonders, wishing he wasn’t so curious. Just thinking about how Sungyeol could answer scared him.

Sungyeol laughs, when he calms down he presses his own lips on Myungsoo’s quickly, “I don’t know, there’s no doubt that she knows nothing about me and that you know me the best~”

“Sungyeolie!” Myungsoo calls, unhappy with the other’s answer.

“What?” Sungyeol frowns at the way Myungsoo suddenly raised his voice, “she probably won’t even want to be seen next to me anymore, not with the way you were glaring daggers at her after she called me cute.”

“I…I did no such thing!” Myungsoo stammered.

“When you do things like that, it’s cute”, Sungyeol chuckles, “but now, she probably thinks that Infinite is one weird group of boys.”

“If I did, it’s because you were cheating on the feelings between us!” Myungsoo states angrily and then roughly pushes his lips onto Sungyeol for an open mouth kiss before the other could even talk back.

“Yeah, and I’ll be the one telling Sunggyu-hyung that the two of you are having rough sex instead of making sure Sungyeol’s arms are hurting less.” A voice that wasn’t Myungsoo or Sungyeol’s came dripping into the room.

Myungsoo and Sungyeol broke off their kiss and turned their eyes to look at the person standing at the door with an amused expression.

“Dongwoo-hyung!” Sungyeol gasped, “we weren’t doing anything like that!”

Dongwoo laughed and looked at the two incredulously, as though her were telling them that he did not believe them.

“If the two of you don’t stop doing dirty things and paint the atmosphere with pink unicorns and rainbows in OUR room, I’ll tip Sunggyu-hyung that the two of you have been ignoring his words, that you’ve both cheated him.”

“Eh?”

“Don’t think no one saw the both of you sneak out in the early mornings yesterday to go on for another one of those little dates of yours again. You know that you shouldn’t be doing that”, Dongwoo says seriously and then flops onto his bed, “the shower is free, so the two of you can go discuss your business there, your hyung is tired and needs to sleep first.”

Myungsoo and Sungyeol stare blankly at Dongwoo who smirked and winked at them.

“Dongwoo-hyung is a genius, he really is”, Myungsoo whispers as he pulls Sungyeol up from the bed, “we’ve got a lengthy shower ahead of us, long enough for Dongwoo-hyung to be dancing around in his dreams.”


	5. Photocards

****

**Title:** Photocards  
**Type:** Oneshot  
**Characters:** Sungyeol, Myungsoo, Sungjong, Hoya  
**Pairing:** Myungsoo/Sungyeol  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Warnings:** pointless conversations, vulgarity, fail!smut   
**Length:** ~4,727  
**Prompt:** from myungyeol_love challenge: #43 - Hair  
**A/N:** THIS had to be written…in a very awkward and fail way.

They were in Japan promoting their Japanese release of Be Mine. It was hot. Sungyeol wore only his grey wifebeater and pants and laid on his bed, resting, trying to catch some sleep.

Lying in the bed beside Sungyeol’s, Myungsoo was flipping through the three ‘special’ versions of their Japanese Be Mine albums. He had to admit, the pictures were all very pleasing to the eye. He had the albums spread out across his bed, each one open to Sungyeol’s page. Myungsoo blinked as he picked up a Sungyeol photocard, from the pop art one. Myungsoo smiled at Sungyeol’s soft looking eyes, his eyes traced Sungyeol’s long hair in the photo, appreciating the way it was styled, he let his fingers trace Sungyeol’s jaw line. He groaned when he realised he was feeling aroused.

“What’s wrong?” Sungyeol opened his eyes and turned to look at Myungsoo, “are you hurt?”

Myungsoo turned to look at Sungyeol and gave the other a smile, he shook his head.

Sungyeol smiled back and then noticed what Myungsoo was looking at, “don’t you want to catch some sleep?” It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen the photos before. Was it really that interesting? But knowing that Myungsoo was flipping through and cherishing their new album, it did make Sungyeol smile, Myungsoo really is cute.

Myungsoo smiled sheepishly. He really should tear his eyes off Sungyeol, looking at the other only made him feel more aroused. It’s totally Sungyeol’s fault for looking at him with his round eyes, with so much concern. Why did he have to look so cute all the time?

“Myungsoo, are you sure? You look uncomfortable…” Sungyeol sat up from his bed and then went towards Myungsoo, taking a better look at the other, a million thoughts of ‘what if Myungsoo is sick?’ ran through his head.

“Ah, it might be because it’s a bit hot in here”, Myungsoo gave Sungyeol who was now squatting beside his bed a reassuring smile, “I really am fine, don’t worry, okay?”

Sungyeol nodded, “then, are you feeling sad? Do you miss Seoul?”

“A little”, Myungsoo nodded.

“Hm~” Sungyeol climbed onto Myungsoo’s bed, forcing the other to scoot over a little and make space for the other, making sure that they weren’t lying on the albums which had now moved to sit on Myungsoo’s pillow. He ignored Myungsoo who was grumbling about how it’s too hot with two people on one bed. Sungyeol leaned in and pecked Myungsoo on the lips, giving the other a smile.

Myungsoo gulped, his eyes flickering from Sungyeol’s eyes to his lips to his eyes again. He tentatively pulled Sungyeol towards him, their bodies pressed against each other.

Sungyeol gasped when he felt a clearly aroused Myungsoo pressing against his thigh, “Myungsoo, you-”

Holding the back of Sungyeol’s head, Myungsoo pressed his lips onto Sungyeol’s for a much longer kiss, his fingers threading through Sungyeol’s long hair.

Sungyeol broke off the kiss and pushed himself away from Myungsoo and he eyed the other suspiciously, “Myungsoo, were you masturbating before?”

Myungsoo laughed, pulling Sungyeol in again, “so what if I was?”

“Urgh”, Sungyeol pouted, pushing him off and then going back to his own bed, and to think that he was actually worried that Myungsoo was feeling unwell before. But no, the other was just horny.

“I was joking”, Myungsoo grabbed the albums and their photocards and padded towards Sungyeol, “I wasn’t masturbating, yet, I was just aroused from seeing your photos, see?” Myungsoo waved the photos in front of Sungyeol.

“You might as well masturbate to it”, Sungyeol stuck his tongue out at the other before he turned around to lie on his tummy and closed his eyes.

Myungsoo laughed dryly to himself, he was sure that many would be masturbating to the pictures of Sungyeol, somehow, the thought of other guys, and girls doing something like that to pictures of Sungyeol made him feel uneasy.

Sungyeol heard the albums being placed on his pillow with a plop, he ignored it, he felt Myungsoo shaking his shoulders and he ignored that too. When he felt a weight on top of him, his eyes snapped open, he knew it was Myungsoo, it was quite obvious when he felt the other’s erection nudge between his butt cheeks.

“Myungsoo, your arousal is in a very inappropriate place, get off me”, Sungyeol complained, wriggling as he tried to make Myungsoo get off, but it only ended up badly as all he could feel and focus on was the way Myungsoo’s erection was sliding up and down between his butt cheeks. Sungyeol wanted to slap himself silly when he caught himself thinking about how much better it would be if they both weren’t wearing pants.

“I just want to hug, that’s fine right? Spending time together…”, Myungsoo said, his arms sneaked under so that he could hold Sungyeol around the waist.

“I guess that’s okay”, Sungyeol sighed, he really gives in to the other too easily.

Myungsoo rolled them onto their side, his hand reaching to grab the albums, “I want to look at our albums together!” He looked past Sungyeol’s shoulder and slowly flipped through the photocards, starting with the ones from the pop art album.

“I really like you hair here”, Myungsoo quipped, “really suits you.”

“You like my hair no matter what it looks like…”, Sungyeol said softly.

“Long hair really brings out your beauty though”, Myungsoo nodded, squeezing Sungyeol a little, “I wouldn’t be able to tell whether you’re a girl or a boy with a glance from this photo.”

Sungyeol shifted a little, Myungsoo was definitely getting a bit too excited. “I don’t know whether I should take that as a compliment or not”, Sungyeol said with mixed feelings.

“Compliment”, Myungsoo stated.

“I guess, Inspirits have been saying that I am getting prettier…”, Sungyeol sighed.

“Beautiful”, Myungsoo corrected, “but you were already the most beautiful to begin with.”

“You just want to hear me tell you that you’re handsome”, Sungyeol mumbled.

Myungsoo watched as Sungyeol’s ears tinted a light pink, it was cute, “say it, tell me~”

Sungyeol flipped to Myungsoo’s card and stared, “Myungsoo, you’re handsome”, Sungyeol says, “but I think that you look better in person…”

“I like that answer”, Myungsoo laughed lightly.

Picking up the solid and innocent version of the photocards, Sungyeol flipped to Myungsoo’s photo and took a look and nodded, “yeah, Myungsoo, you’re definitely better looking in real life.”

Myungsoo’s arms squeezed Sungyeol tightly as he nuzzled into the other’s neck, clearly happy with Sungyeol’s answer.

“I do have a question though”, Sungyeol tilted the album pictures and squinted at them, “why do you always have to look so seductive in all photo shoots? Not just in these albums, but every other photo shoot we’ve had as well, why?”

Myungsoo stayed silent for a moment before he asked with confusion, “what?”

“You know what I’m talking about!” Sungyeol grumbled as he held up Myungsoo’s picture from the innocent version, “this is clearly supposed to look innocent right? Why are you wearing this ‘come hither’ look? Who are you trying to seduce?”

Putting the innocent version aside, Sungyeol picked up the pop art version, once again, flipping to Myungsoo’s solo shot, “Myungsoo, just look at this one, your expression spells out ‘you’re going to be thinking of me for the rest of your life’, just who are you trying to hold captive, Myungsoo-ah?”

Sungyeol then picked up the solid version, “and this one! This one! Myungsoo, who are you trying to tell ‘I’m going to screw you senseless’ to!? Our albums are mainly for Inspirits, right? Why are you trying to send such seductive messages to them?”

Myungsoo started laughing at Sungyeol’s burst of questions and complaints. It was cute.

“But you know, Sungyeolie, you’re not the only one who has questions”, Myungsoo blew softly on Sungyeol’s neck, watching as the other’s hair ruffled softly, “why do you always look so suggestive in your photos?”

“Excuse me?” Sungyeol asked haughtily as he turned around to face Myungsoo.

“Let’s take a look at the pop art one!” Myungsoo grabbed the pop art bundle of photocards and held it above them, flipping to Sungyeol’s, “look, what’s with your lips, why do you always make them like that, hm? Are you trying to make people go crazy by staring at how lusciously plump and kissable your lips look? Is that your plan, Sungyeolie-ah!”

“What?” Sungyeol interjected quickly, “my lips are naturally like that!”

Ignoring him, Myungsoo picked up the innocent version, “ah, you were totally innocent in this one, I agree, so innocent that you’ll make anyone who even looks at you feel like a perverted molester!”

“Myungsoo! I’m not doing anything but trying to look pretty and smiling there!” Sungyeol denied.

Myungsoo nodded, “and your smile is spelling out ‘please take me’, that’s what.”

Before Sungyeol could interfere again, Myungsoo had already picked up the solid version, “Sungyeol, this one just brings it way too far, this is the expression you wear when we make love, just what did the photographer tell you to have you make that face? And why did you even make that face, I thought we agreed that you are only allowed to show me that face?”

“We were supposed to make a sexy face right? Wasn’t that the concept?” Sungyeol asked, looking at Myungsoo.

“How is that sexy?” Myungsoo asked, sulking.

“Oh ho! Myungsoo, I can feel you pressing against me, if anyone, you’re the one who is most likely to find it a turn on”, Sungyeol moved his body, nudging Myungsoo’s arousal, “and I don’t make that face when we do it!”

“Yes you do”, Myungsoo claims, smiling before pecking Sungyeol’s lips, “you do it from time to time, you know, with your tousled hair in that position you looooove so much~”

“Myungsoo!” Sungyeol cried before covering the other’s mouth, “it’s embarrassing, don’t talk about it!”

Removing Sungyeol’s hand, Myungsoo chuckled, his cheeks dusting as pink as Sungyeol’s cheeks, “mm, it is embarrassing, but if we don’t talk about it now, when will we?”

“I don’t know, but it’s so embarrassing!” Sungyeol said as he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Myungsoo’s. All of a sudden, Sungyeol opened his eyes and started pushing at Myungsoo, “it’s too hot, I can’t sleep, get out of my bed.”

“No~” Myungsoo whined as he wiggled back and wrapped his arms around Sungyeol, “I want to cuddle~”

“No~” Sungyeol whined back, “you’re hard, it’s pestering me, go take care of your problem first~”

“No~” Myungsoo pouted his lips and pecked Sungyeol’s lips, “I want to stay here with you~”

“No~” Sungyeol shook his shoulders, “I’m not helping you with your problem if that’s what you’re implying~”

“Sungyeolie~” Myungsoo looked into the other’s eyes and licked his lips before whispering on Sungyeol’s lips, “blow me, please~”

Myungsoo could hear Sungyeol gulp, he watched as the other’s eyes wavered and he knew that he had won, in the end, Sungyeol always did whatever Myungsoo requested…they both know that Sungyeol could not refuse.

“You always take advantage of me”, Sungyeol sulked.

“Tonight too!” Myungsoo smiled happily.

Sighing, Sungyeol leaned in to peck Myungsoo on the cheek, he then gave the other a really big smile before he shuffled down to pull Myungsoo’s pants off and free his awaiting arousal. Staring at Myungsoo’s erection, Sungyeol frowned and then he lifted his gaze to look at Myungsoo. Widening his eyes and pushing his lips gently, Sungyeol gave Myungsoo his puppy eyes and pouted innocently, “actually, Myungsoo, can I do this some other time?”, Sungyeol blinked and then rubbed his eyes, “I’m really tired and want to go sleepy~”

Myungsoo stared at Sungyeol and swallowed hard. He really hated how Sungyeol knows that he’s quite weak to a Sungyeol attempting aegyo (and successfully tugging at his heartstrings).

“Please Myungsoo~ I don’t want the corners of my lips to crack, it’ll hurt~” Sungyeol pleaded, “let’s just go to sleep?”

“Sungyeol…you…”, Myungsoo swallowed before nodding, agreeing with the other.

“Eh? What? Really?” Sungyeol sat up immediately and looked at Myungsoo with round eyes, he was in disbelief.

“Actually, maybe not”, Myungsoo said slowly as he concentrated on looking at Sungyeol’s plump and red lips. He really wanted to feel them.

Sungyeol pouted, “even if I kiss you?”

“Oh. Please kiss me too”, Myungsoo nodded.

“So demanding…”, Sungyeol pouted.

Smiling, Myungsoo held Sungyeol’s chin lightly, they both leaned in and pressed their lips against each other.

Sungyeol let out a shriek when Myungsoo suddenly pushed him down into the bed. He opened his eyes in surprise and saw Myungsoo smiling sweetly at him.

“Myungsoo?” Sungyeol asked.

But Myungsoo only smiled back at Sungyeol, holding both of his wrists in a grip with one hand. He dipped his head down and kissed the taller one again.

When Myungsoo yanked Sungyeol’s pants off as swiftly and gently as he could with one hand, Sungyeol shrieked again and his legs immediately came together in shame. Pressing his lips on Sungyeol’s neck, Myungsoo began leaving a trailing of kisses down the other’s neck to his collar bone. Letting go of Sungyeol’s wrists, Myungsoo pushed Sungyeol’s wifebeater up, chuckling when his eyes were covered with Sungyeol’s hands.

“Yah, what time is it to be shy now?” Myungsoo asked, removing Sungyeol’s hand. He smiled and kissed Sungyeol’s blushing cheeks.

“You’re just as shy as me though”, Sungyeol mumbled as he wrapped his arms around Myungsoo’s neck, his luscious red lips just begging to be kissed again.

Myungsoo sighed with content when his hands found their way to Sungyeol’s head, his fingers threading in with the long hair he loves so much. His lips met Sungyeol’s lips for a sweet kiss that melted him from the inside.

 Sungyeol smiled softly when their kiss disconnected, his eyes fluttered and he moaned when Myungsoo stroked his waist and planted kisses on his tummy.

“It tickles a little”, Sungyeol chuckled, squirming.

Myungsoo’s eyes lit up cheekily.

“Oh, Myungsoo, you are not going to!” Sungyeol cried out and tried to escape from Myungsoo who only held onto the other’s waist tightly and gave him a charming smile.

“I am, I am”, Myungsoo licked his lips and then blew softly onto Sungyeol’s skin. He laughed when Sungyeol started squirming even more.

Looking up, Myungsoo could not help but laugh at Sungyeol who was pouting. It was cute. He lightly pecked the other’s lips and then twirled his fingers around strands of Sungyeol’s hair, watching the different reactions run across Sungyeol’s face.

“It tickled!” Sungyeol complained and then pouted his lips and blew into Myungsoo’s face.

Amused, Myungsoo blew lightly onto Sungyeol’s cheek.

“Argh! You monster, don’t spit on me!” Sungyeol complained as he immediately blew back into Myungsoo’s face again, his hands holding Myungsoo in place.

“Your face really doesn’t match your personality”, Myungsoo laughed, leaving soft kisses on Sungyeol’s face, ignoring that the other was still trying to ‘spit’ on him.

“I can stereotype too, your face does your personality no justice at all!” Sungyeol laughed and then kissed Myungsoo’s cheeks.

“Oh? You’re complimenting me?”

“I’m stereotyping…”

“You definitely just complimented me.”

Sungyeol did not say anything and looked blankly at Myungsoo.

“There’s nothing wrong with complimenting me, you know?”

“No, but it boosts your ego by so much I’m feeling regretful now~”

Myungsoo laughed again when Sungyeol started laughing.

“Forget it, your face matches well with your personality”, Myungsoo nodded.

“Whatever”, Sungyeol flicked the other’s forehead with little strength.

Pursing his lips, Myungsoo reached over the drawer beside the bed, pulled it open and grabbed a tube of lube. He held it in front of Sungyeol and weaved the tube a little.

“Only if you’re gentle…”, Sungyeol nodded and then took the tube from Myungsoo, he uncapped it and squirted some onto his fingers.

“I’m always gentle…”, Myungsoo looked queerly at Sungyeol.

Sungyeol blinked and then nodded, “yeah, you are”, he smiled up prettily at Myungsoo.

Myungsoo could not help but lick is lips at that beautiful smile, “so, are you going to show me this sexy expression of yours whilst you prepare yourself?” Myungsoo grinned, already guiding Sungyeol to put his free hand above his head.

Sungyeol scrunched his eyebrows at Myungsoo, “what?”

“Hm, your hair isn’t tousled enough…”, Myungsoo picked at Sungyeol’s hair, “guess we can’t do much with all the hair products layered up in there…”

“Myungsoo…”, Sungyeol glared at Myungsoo for a second before his expression changed as he pushed a finger inside, slowly curling that finger.

“Your head was turned to the side in the photocard wasn’t it?” Myungsoo nodded, how could he ever forget, “guess I’m the only one who’s honoured enough to see both sides of your face whilst you do this.”

“Honour?” Sungyeol coughed out as he pushed another finger into himself, “you’re the only one who’ll see this anyway…what honour?”

“Hah…what is with all your cute expressions?” Myungsoo caressed Sungyeol’s cheek, “so cute, so cute~”

Sungyeol groaned, pushing a third and fourth finger inside of himself. He looked at Myungsoo’s awaiting eyes and the expression the other was waiting for came out naturally to him.

He heard Myungsoo gasp and then he felt lips on his own again. Sungyeol felt like tearing up. Myungsoo’s hand groping his side was soft, it tingled his nerves.

“Okay”, Sungyeol said breathlessly. He could feel Myungsoo’s hands wander across his skin again. It burned, it burned him. Taking his fingers out, Sungyeol gripped onto the bed cover, waiting for what was to come. He heard the cap of the lube uncap, he heard it being squeezed out, but all he could focus on were Myungsoo’s eyes, enticing him, capturing his gaze and forcing him to look at nothing else. His breaths were coming short.

Rough hands grabbed Sungyeol’s thighs and pushed them back as nicely as possible. Lips brushed each other before Myungsoo slowly guided himself in. His eyes never looking away from Sungyeol’s now teary eyes.

“You’re making me cry…”, Sungyeol said just as tears rolled down his flushed cheeks.

Myungsoo apologised quietly, gathering the tears with his lips, his tongue licking them away.

Suddenly, Sungyeol’s phone started ringing.

“Wha-?” Sungyeol looked at his phone.

“At this time?” Myungsoo snarled.

Releasing his grip on the bed cover, Sungyeol grabbed his phone and looked at who was calling, “it might be important”, Sungyeol swallowed.

“Sungjongie?” Sungyeol panted as he answered the phone, he held his groan in when Myungsoo flicked his nipple. It hurt.

“I just knew you and Myungsoo-hyung were doing it”, Sungjong complained, and Sungyeol could just see the maknae rolling his eyes.

Myungsoo glared at the phone in Sungyeol’s hand, his tightened his grip on Sungyeol’s enticing thighs but stopped and smiled apologetically when he realised Sungyeol was whimpering in pain. Instead he gently rubbed circles over the milky white skin.

“So?” Sungyeol asked, his head shaking, telling Myungsoo to stop.

Smiling like an angel at Sungyeol, Myungsoo shook his head.

Sungyeol’s eyes widened at the meaning behind Myungsoo’s smile, surprised, he forgot that he was on the phone with Sungjong and let out a hearty moan as Myungsoo rolled his hips, pushing Sungyeol’s legs closer to his chest so that he could go further.

“Hyung?” Sungjong’s voice came from the other end of the phone.

“Ah!” Sungyeol was about to answer Sungjong when Myungsoo lean in and licked his lips, he could feel Myungsoo push further inside of him. It burned.

“Hyung!? Are you alright!?” Sungjong’s voice came hurriedly from the other end, “wait, don’t tell me that the two of you are still going at it despite answering the phone!”

“Myungsoo, stop it”, Sungyeol hissed, glaring at Myungsoo.

Pouting Myungsoo shook his head, “don’t want to~” He grinned before he pecked Sungyeol’s lips. Placing Sungyeol’s legs over his shoulders, Myungsoo smiled softly and then started to move gently.

“Myungsoo~” Sungyeol moaned, his ankles crossing as he hugged Myungsoo closer.

“Oh gosh! I did not sign up for this!” Sungjong yelled into the phone quickly, “hyung, I just called to warn you that Howonnie-hyung will be visiting your room in a few to film, and I just knew that he would be forever scarred if I didn’t call to tell you to put your pants back on. You don’t want the camera to actually capture a super intimate SooYeol moment now, do you?” And with that, Sungjong hung up, sick of hearing the short pants from Sungyeol’s side of the phone.

“Myungsoo we have to stop”, Sungyeol moved his legs and attempted to kick Myungsoo off of himself, “Sungjongie said that Howonnie is coming soon, with a camera crew!”

“So what? The door is locked, they won’t be able to get in anyway”, Myungsoo reasoned, pushing Sungyeol back, holding the other’s wrists and continuing their activities.

“No! Myungsoo!” Sungyeol rejected but still held tightly onto Myungsoo, “what will they think when we don’t open the door? What will they think when they hear all the sounds we make?”

“It’s not like Howonnie doesn’t already know, gees”, Myungsoo sighed, kissing Sungyeol’s cheek lightly and then making his way down the other’s softly curved jaw line.

“But the cameramen”, Sungyeol gasped, his hips arching up, “and Inspirits, the people who will watch the video, they don’t know!”

“Funny that you mentioned Inspirits”, Myugsoo chuckled, he stopped attaching his lips on the other and rubbed their noses together and grinned, “they’ve been giving me lube, you know? With messages of ‘Please treat our Sungyeolie with gentleness and care~’, it’s great isn’t it? Our Inspirits love you so much!”

“They’re still sending you stuff like that?” Sungyeol cried.

“I heard from Dongwoo-hyung that you’ve been receiving pregnancy tests to use?” Myungsoo chuckled, “it’s like they’re waiting for you to announce that you’re pregnant with my child.”

“Oh gosh, I’m going to need to shut Dongwoo-hyung’s loud mouth!” Sungyeol despaired.

“We should grant their wishes, Sungyeolie~” Myungsoo said with a sing song voice.

“Stop using them as an excuse!” Sungyeol headbutted Myungsoo lightly, “we need to stop, Howonnie will be here soon, I need to fix my makeup, my hair!”

“Your hair~” Myungsoo lets go of Sungyeol’s wrists and then tangles his fingers in Sungyeol’s hair, “if only it wasn’t full of hairspray and what not, still beautiful though.”

“Good. Leave my beautiful hair alone”, Sungyeol swatted Myungsoo’s hands away, roughly shoved Myungsoo away, wincing as he kicked Myungsoo’s chest, pushing the other out of him. His body was already yearning for the lost touch. Shaking his head, Sungyeol sent Myungsoo an apologetic smile when the other tumbled and then landed on the floor with a flomp. Grabbing some tissue, Sungyeol quickly cleaned his body. He pulled his wifebeater down and put his pants back on.

“Myungsoo, what are you looking at?” Sungyeol stared blankly at Myungsoo who was sitting on the floor and staring up at him mischievously, “whatever you’re thinking, drop it, we need to get ready before Howonnie comes.”

“You put your clothes back on so fast”, Myungsoo stated and then stood up and sat on Sungyeol’s bed.

“So? Isn’t that good?” Sungyeol scrunched up his nose, “you should tidy up too.”

Myungsoo nodded and then reached over towards Sungyeol.

“Wh-what? What are you trying to do now?” Sungyeol asked anxiously and backed away.

“Fixing your hair for you”, Myungsoo smiled.

“Ah, thank-you”, Sungyeol scooted closer towards Myungsoo and smiled happily.

“And then I’ll take all your clothes off this time, push you down and mess up your neat and tidy hair”, Myungsoo nodded with satisfaction at the thought.

Twitching, Sungyeol quickly got off the bed and looked at Myungsoo with fake disgust.

“Come on, Sungyeolie~” Myungsoo held onto Sungyeol’s hand gently and smiled, “let’s make babies.”

Taking his hand back, Sungyeol shook Myungsoo’s hand off and sowly walked into the bathroom muttering to himself.

Sighing, Myungsoo closed his eyes and flopped onto Sungyeol’s bed. Now he wanted to sleep, but he was still very much aware of his lower body which was still craving for attention, preferably not from his own rough hands, but from Sungyeol. Sungyeol who’s in the bathroom attempting to fix his makeup and all.

“At least put your pants on, Myungsoo”, Sungyeol nagged, nudging Myungsoo who was lying in his bed.

Opening his eyes, Myungsoo looked at Sungyeol, “no, it’ll hurt…”

“Oh”, Sungyeol blinked at Myungsoo, knowing what the other was trying to say, “my backside hurts because of you, just saying, so get off my bed.”

“If we finish, it won’t hurt!” Myungsoo sat up and pulled Sungyeol onto the bed, “so let’s finish, okay?”

“No”, Sungyeol shook his head, “we’ve tried it before, remember? You just made me ache more!”

“Fine, then at least help me”, Myungsoo waved towards his lower regions, “blow me please?”

“No”, Sungyeol said firmly, this time, he really was not going to give in.

“Hand then?”

“No”, Sungyeol shook his head again, “do it yourself.”

“But I’m you’re hubby and you’re my wifey, you’re supposed to help me~” Myungsoo whined.

“Myungsoo! I’m not a girl! Stop treating me like one. I wanted to say this from before, I can’t give birth, so cut it with the children talk, if you want children, go find a sweet girl out there!” Sungyeol said unhappily and then kicked Myungsoo off his bed once again.

“Sungyeolie, that’s not what I meant”, Myungsoo tried to explain, “I meant it as a term of endearment…”

Sungyeol threw Myungsoo’s pants at the owner and then rolled to his side so that his back was facing the other.

“Sungyeolie~ Don’t be upset”, Myungsoo said as he grudgingly put his pants back on. He then climbed onto Sungyeol’s bed again and placed a hand on the other’s shoulder, “please?”

Sungyeol rolled off the bed and kneeled next to his bed, leaning towards his bed and then stared at Myungsoo, “I’m not a girl”, he pouted.

Myungsoo smiled, “of course you aren’t”, he reached over and caressed Sungyeol’s cheeks, “yet you’re so beautiful.”

Sungyeol looked at Myungsoo with a sad face. He closed his eyes when Myungsoo looked at him with worry. He felt his heart beat faster when he felt Myungsoo’s lips on his own.

And then the door knocked.

Myungsoo sighed as he got off Sungyeol’s bed, he was really hoping that Sungyeol would’ve helped him before Howon got here, who knows how long the other was going to stay and interfere with their private time together.

Showing an unhappy face, Myungsoo opened the door, he was greeted by a cheerful Howon. He tried to smile back, but from the look on Howon’s face, he could tell that his smile must’ve looked rather unfriendly. He let some cameramen into the room and then closed the door again, he took a look at Sungyeol who was now pretending to be busy on his phone.

The door knocked again and Myungsoo opened the door once more, a joyful Howon bustling his way into the room. Deflated, Myungsoo sat on his bed, he grabbed his pillow and started to whine childishly, hitting Howon whenever he could, hinting quite boldly that he wanted the other same age friend to get out of the room immediately.

“Well, we’ll be leaving now”, Howon finally said as he turned his camera off. The cameramen nodded and filed out of the room.

Smiling, Howon placed a shoulder on Myungsoo’s shoulder and whispered to the other, “take care of our moody princess troublemaker”, and then he glanced at Sungyeol who was lazily waving him off.

“Urgh!” Myungsoo responded by hitting Howon a couple of times more with his pillow.

Howon laughed as he left the room.

Sungyeol waddled his way towards the bathroom. Myungsoo sent him a curious stare.

“I’m going to remove my makeup, take a shower, clean out all the stuff in my hair…”, Sungyeol nodded.

“Oh”, Myungsoo nodded back and then asked, “can I join you?”

“What? No, not with your dirty thoughts”, Sungyeol stuck his tongue out at the other, “not that you really every ask anyway.”

Smiling, Myungsoo quickly hopped off his bed and followed Sungyeol into the bathroom, “I’ll wash your hair for you!” Myungsoo said happily before he closed the bathroom door behind him firmly, “so are you going to show me the pop art version? Innocent version? Or the solid version again!?”


End file.
